Wednesday, April 22, 2009

We Have To Do Better

I interrupt my Earth Day post to bring you this very important message:

I am so tired of reading about ignorant shit from grown ass people who should know better. TIRED.

And I'm tired of stupid ass teenagers with no home training wrecking shit all over the place. TIRED.

I'm sayin... no more resting on your laurels. No more blaming your alcoholic mother or your absentee father or your molester uncle. DONE, you hear me?

And you can just forget about blaming THE MAN 'cause goddamn if the man don't (finally) look like me and you?!?!

So, by the power vested in me by the Borough of Brooklyn and the webmasters at Blogger, I hereby pronounce that:

1- You will STOP making up names for your babies. No more Ty'Queishiaas and no more Apples. STOP IT.

2- You will stop leaving your house in your jammies and slippers. Put some clothes on, for real. I love my jammies, too, but I know better (now) than to leave my house in them.

3- You will comb your hair. It is NOT acceptable to be out and about with your hair wrapped with all those damned pins in your head. And dudes... bed hair, really? That's the look you want to offer the world? WTF?

4- You will stop having unprotected sex. Enough already. It is 2009 and AIDS is still rampant... WHY???

5- You will stop flashing your goodies to the world and then demand to be respected. I'm sorry, but if you let the 'razzi get a crotch shot you lose all credibility in my book. There are ways to avoid that mess.

6- You will stop neglecting your kids. I'm busting my ass to make my kids productive, law-abiding citizens that contribute to society, and I'll be damned if they will be forced to carry your ne'er-do-well rugrats.

7- You will learn to carry yourselves like gentlemen & ladies goddammit! Men, open a freakin door from time to time; ladies, learn to keep your big ass mouth shut on occasion. It's the little niceties that make all the difference.

8- You will burn all your skinny jeans and leggins. Now. No questions asked just BURN THEM. And throw in those crocs and uggs, too.

9- You will stop trying to model your life after celebrities who don't have the sense god gave them. You will never be Beyonce and you will never be Sean Combs, and thank the lord for that. You are YOU. Be YOU.

10- You will stop spending all your money on bullshit. For real? Rims on a Maxima? Really? I'm too through!

People... we have to do better...

*smooches...hoping I've offended at least 5 people with this post*
because you've all been offending me with these 10 infraction for YEARS. it's time someone told you off.

now, what are some things on your list which need to be added to this decree?