Thursday, August 14, 2008

Grace Under Pressure

  • I feel like it's my last days at this job. Just a feeling deep in my bones. Not that I can afford to be unemployed right now but I can smell something afoul in the air.

  • My ex is bringing his girlfriend to N's birthday party on Sunday. It doesn't really bother me except now I have to be all polite and graceful n shit. Now I have to actually comb my hair and press my clothes. Dammit!

  • Sallie Mae is hella pissed at me. She keeps sending me angry letters. But what can I do? Contrary to popular belief, there is no money tree in my backyard. She needs to settle for what I can manage or kick rocks!

  • My apartment looks WORSE than a bachelor pad. I can honestly say that this is the absolute rock bottom of disgusting messiness and filth. But every night I come home and just PLOP on the couch and do nothing.

  • My TO DO list resembles a scroll that can extend from Brooklyn to Cleveland and I can't, for the life of me, clone myself fast enough to get it all done. And the two clones I did manage to make last week absconded with my savings and went to the Cayman Islands. Rat bastards...

It's all I can do to not curl up into a little ball and cry inconsolably. But of course, it's not on my TO DO list so I can't even think about falling apart.

HOWEVER... I truly do surround myself with the best people... just when I'm ready to give in to the stress and the tears and the binge eating, J sends me the Leela James CD I asked him to send me a few weeks ago.

Like, how did he know I needed that shit RIGHT THIS MINUTE?

Leela James - A Change Is Gonna Come

*smooches...hanging by a thread, though you'd never know it unless I told you so*
I'm not certain how much longer I'll be able to "SMILE AND NOD" my way through life. I'd hate to be the person sitting next to me on the F-Train when I finally snap...