Wednesday, August 06, 2008

And So It Begins

Dear Lord,

I know we had a falling out and I talk shit about you and your peeps and all that, but I'm hoping we can put that aside for a little bit because I have a huge favor to ask.

Lord, can you please bestow upon me some patience? Not a little bit, but, like, enough for ten people? Otherwise, a certain 13-year-old will be coming home to you sooner than expected...

Do you know this HEIFER had the AUDACITY to run up my phone bill? So instead of the $120 I normally pay a month my current Verizon bill, which was at a lovely $0.00, is now damn near $400??? OOOH K was sooooo lucky she was with her father when I found out, because if she had been home... let me not even get my pressure all up about it...

DAMMIT, $400?!?! That's an extra $280 that I have to take from somewhere else to pay this damn bill! What part of STOP USING UP THE DAYTIME MINUTES does this child of god NOT understand??

And you know where that money is coming from, right? That's right- I had to cancel my plans to see Marc Anthony, Aventura and Alejandro Fernandez in concert on the 21st, and I'm wicked pissed about it!!!!!!!!!!

*deep, cleansing breaths*

So, when Miss K brings her chatterbox ass back home from camp, guess what? I gots me a new maid. That's right- she's paying me back every extra minute she was on the phone talking about boys and anime and the latest song by The Wombats she was into that week with COLD, HARD, BACK-BREAKING, CHARACTER-BUILDING LABOR.

She'll be scrubbing floors on her hands and knees, the windows, baseboards, rearranging and cleaning out closets, cleaning and re-lining the kitchen and bathroom cabinets, scrubbing the walls, ceilings, light fixtures... you name it, she's gonna do it. At a rate of $5.00/hour.

Slave wages, you say? Ask me if I care...

If anyone is gonna run up my phone bill, it's gonna be me!

*smooches...cracking the whip because I care*
or because it's hella fun... whatever works...

on a side note, I did accrue some extra charges on the text messages. so, um, certain PEOPLE who are not Verizon customers but have unlimited text messaging, please note that I do not... and that Yahoo IM is free. So bring the damn computer to the couch and IM me Y YA!

thanks, love you to bits!!!

second side note: we took Miss K to sleepaway camp on Sunday. I'm still pissed about my phone bill, but, *sniffle* it was hard to leave her there all by herself *sniffle* I hope she has fun...