Thursday, October 16, 2008

Told You I Had Some Bad Karma To Work Off

Sometimes it's hard to take the high road. I try to let things roll of my back and offer it up to Karma. Then I realize, Karma is the reason the fucked up shit is happening to me in the first place and I want to spit huge globs of green phlegm on the high road. But I know I can't, because that's exactly what Karma wants me to do.

A while back, a ran into an ex on the street- no big deal, really. We exchanged business cards and agreed to meet for coffee which he interpreted as "call Raquel at 3AM to see what she's up to" and all that. So it became a habit- I'm an insomniac, people know that, and most of my phone conversations take place after hours because that's when I'm awake.

Weeks pass and I put him out of my mind because he was an ex for a VERY GOOD REASON and I only entertained the whole coffee thing because I didn't want to seem childish. I run into him again on the same block and same thing: "We need to get together and talk over coffee..." and I'm like, "Yeah, call me, bye" whatever.

That same weekend we made tentative plans to hang out before we each went about with our own separate weekend plans but it fell through. Still, he called late at night and then I called him back, etc.

Mind you, the whole time we're just shooting the shit. There's no sex talk or anything inappropriate going on because frankly he was a total jerk in college and I was NEVER gonna forget what an asshole he was to me back then. We mostly asked about mutual people we knew from school and generic stuff.

The following Monday, I'm shopping in the Foodtown after work and I get a call from a number I don't recognize, which I usually don't answer, but I had sent out some query letters so I thought it might be an editor.

"Hi, this is XXX. Do you know someone by the name of [asshole ex-boyfriend]?"

I'm like, did this fool put me down as a reference on some kind of application?

"Who's asking?"
"His wife... is there any reason why you are calling my husband at 2 in the morning?"


THIS MOTHERFUCKER, when we bumped into each other, asked me about C, and I mentioned we were divorced and had had another daughter after K. When I asked him what he was up to, he said he had a ten year old son that he sees often. No mention of wife at all, and I didn't ask because I didn't really care; I was just holding polite conversation.

CLEARLY he thought he had some sort of second chance with me... WTF?

You'd be so proud of me... I was very courteous to this poor woman because it was obvious to me she had made this call before, but I let her know in no uncertain terms that HER HUSBAND was an old acquaintance from college, nothing inappropriate had taken place, and that up until her phone call I did not know she existed. And then hung up.

Do you want to hear the punchline? Homegirl was 8 months pregnant at the time with his second child. And yes, she was the mother of the first child, too.

So this post has been in DRAFTS for a long, long time, and in earlier versions I put his full name and number out there because I was so MAD that I had to get that phone call AS IF I'm some cheap floozy who goes around doing shit like that (Okay maybe once but that was a LONG TIME AGO).

But then I accepted Karma's punishment for my past indiscretion and erased his information. This wife wasn't the one I wronged, but basically she was speaking for the one I did. I took her tongue lashing because I sort of deserved it and I knew it would make her feel better, gave my respectful two cents, and kept it moving.

And now I release this from my brain because I'm too through dwelling on it. He was an ass and a macho prick in college and clearly nothing has changed. I hope for her and her children's sake that everything works out for them.

But word of caution to my Asshole Ex-boyfriend: you'd better watch out, because CLEARLY, unlike myself, Karma never forgets to attend to EVERYONE on her To-Do list.

*smooches...hoping I never have to lay eyes on his sorry ass ever again*
I know what it's like to be the wife wondering where her husband is and with whom, and it's NOT a good feeling. at all. he's such a freakin loser... ugh!