Thursday, August 19, 2010

The Networking Game

This unemployment shit is getting old. Yeah, I have little gigs here and there that pop in sometimes but I have real debt (student loans) and high expenses (Brooklyn rent, SON!!) that require a salary position with benefits n shit.

So I've been trying to turn up the networking dial: reaching out to friends who are employed and asking for referrals, attending different events where I may meet someone with connections and casting a wider net...if I have to get coffee and collate reports then so be it. Just make sure you pay me enough to stay in my apartment, pay all my bills and save up for a rainy day. I don't even know how to make coffee but I will learn and make the best damn coffee you ever tasted. People from neighboring offices will stop by for some coffee I made, watch. All you have to do is hire me.

On Monday, as I rode the train into the city, a man was walking through the train car handing out his business card to people who could help him find someone to teach him origami. As he did so I kept thinking, would that work for a job seeker? What kind of response would I get walking through the train car and, instead of asking for money, I handed out my CV and business card and asked for referrals to lucrative positions? I swear this bleak economy has me strongly considering it.

But I think first I will appeal to you here, on my blog. Basically:

I need a job. Full time or temporary (at least 6mos). I have experience as an administrative assistant, office manager, tutor, teacher (but am not certified...something needed in most NYC schools), program assistant/event planner and of course a writer/editor, for the education, publishing, entertainment/lifestyle magazine and public relations industries. I speak fluent Spanish and my English, well, you already know. I type pretty fast and have a great phone demeanor (aka my White Voice). I'm GREAT at organizing other people's lives and calendars and let's face it, with me sitting up in your office the property value will increase and everything will all of a sudden be more beautiful sunshiny happiness.

What else? Oh, I am self taught and pretty much an expert at MS Office Suite, Adobe Creative Suite and all that crap. I even know some older outdated shit like FileMaker Pro and desktop publishing stuff like Quark Xpress. And believe it or not, as much as I hate computers and they hate me right back, I'm pretty good at troubleshooting IT issues and office problems in general. I'm great with kids and pretty decent with deadlines. And I'm willing to give an employer at least two years of my life, maybe three, while I keep working on The Jaded Empire.

Know anything I'd be good for? Even if it's just a freelance, telecommuting type gig, I'll consider it. Times is hard n shit. Skip the comments, for real, and just straight up email me:

First person to hook me up with a job that I actually get will get one item of their choosing from The Jaded Bodega + drinks on me.

*smooches...hoping this works because I really like my apt*
I don't want to move, y'all. my 'hood is so nice and safe and the school district is excellent. I need this job like nobody's business. anything you can send my way...I'm not afraid of hard work!