Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Five Truths About Family

No one brings more drama into your life than your family- the blood relatives and the friends you love alike, and it's a carefully choreographed dance you must learn in order to deal with all of their bullshit. Well let me tell you- I'm tired of dancing. I came to some realizations recently and being the loving and self-less person that I am I figured you deserved to be in the know, too.

1- They are sometimes the first ones to take advantage of you. Sad but true. They'll borrow money and then make you feel bad for wanting to be repaid. They'll move into your house and then drink your OJ but refill the container with water as if you won't notice. Stupid shit like that.

2- They will insult you and then try to cover it up with a, "I only tell you this because I love you." REALLY? Then please, by all means, NEVER have hate for me in your heart.

3- They will belittle your hopes and dreams. "A writer? What kind of money do you expect to make?" "What are you going to do in England? Please, girl, your family is here." Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence!

4- Their approval will not make or break you. You trick yourself into thinking you need them to back you in order to pursue something but really, you just need YOU. Especially if they're pulling a #3 on your ass.

5- You don't have to like them, love them, spend time with them or revere them just because you share DNA. And this applies to about 90% of my biological paternal parental unit's family. In fact, two weekends ago I made the executive decision NOT to attend my Penzo grandmother's 87th birthday BBQ, and I stand by that choice 100%. Why? As if you have to ask...

Trust that I understand the importance of family in one's life but honestly, sometimes these are the very people who are keeping you down. Not The Man but family. The trick is to scope out the good ones early on and stick with them. For me, it just so happens that most of the good ones are on my mom's side... *kanyeshrug*

*smooches...apologetically telling it like it is*
and call me cold-blooded if you want, but I'm not going to her funeral either. The Jaded NYer don't DO funerals, yo, and nothing anyone says will get me to go. not even mami!!