Wednesday, July 14, 2010

"Why Did Those Days Ever Have To Go"

I wish I turn the clock back to October so I could warn Past Raquel NOT to buy the Blackberry Tour. "Girl, you don't need all them gadgets and options. Just buy a regular phone and get the hell out the sto'!!"

I wish I had a more inviting + appealing apartment. Actually, no, I wish I could AFFORD a more inviting + appealing apartment. As it stands, I'm embarrassed to have people over here. Good thing my family loves to visit me despite my crappy abode!

I wish I had the power to smite people who litter and then complain about how dirty the City is. Bitch! Did you or did you NOT just toss your candy wrapper in the street?!

I wish I could erase people from my memories, like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. A lot of you mofos would be soooooooo added to the "forget them hos" list!

I wish this economy would turn around and print magazines would start thriving again and I could get a bushel of new clients, so that I can avoid being chained to a desk this fall. Me + office work just aren't BFFs anymore.

I wish Buffalo wings were healthy and promoted weight loss. Actually, it doesn't matter. I will eat them regardless. That and fries. And Haagen Dazs. And anything my mom cooks.

I wish I could jump into movies like West Side Story or Carlito's Way and Rosemary's Baby and warn people about all manner of shit: "Chino didn't really kill Maria!! Don't be stupid, Tony!" "Pachanga is a traitor, dude, Do NOT let him know where you're going!!" "Chiiiillllddddd, don't trust your neighbors! They're Devil Worshippers and they PLOTTIN!"

I wish SOMEONE *cough*YOU*cough* would buy me a new mattress. One of those pillow top ones that feel like you're sleeping on a stack of cotton balls. Aaaaahhhhh, I'd never ever ever get out of bed ever...

I wish I could move to DR for six months. That's actually a major goal of mine. I want to live there for six whole months, intern at my aunt's PR firm, improve my Spanish, learn more about my ancestry right from the horse's mouth and watch a REAL beisbol game.

I wish Prince Charming were real, except not white, blonde, etc. I want him to be chocolatey. But he should still swoop in on a gallant horse and make all my troubles disappear.

*smooches...wishing on a star every night*
oh wait, that's not a star...that's a plane departing from JFK, without me, to exotic places that I will never see...