Friday, July 02, 2010

"I Got A Feeling There's A Miracle Due"

2010 has been mighty rude to me so far. Just showing NO LOVE in any way shape or form. What's worse, my anxiety levels have increased to the point where I'm snacking like my life depended on it. I have the food baby to prove it. Plus my right leg is acting up- don't ask me why because if you do I'm just gonna tell you what WebMD told me: cancer & gangrene.

And don't even get me started on the nightmares. LORD the NIGHTMARES. Twice already I've dreamed about a tidal wave taking out NYC. And in this dream I just stick around on some ol' "I'm going down with the ship" nonsense while everyone else heads inland. Really, though? I wanted to punch myself in the throat! Then there's the dream I had where someone I know was upset at a person that wasn't me, but decided that we ALL needed to die and therefore had a hit out on me as well. I had to send my girls away to a secret location so they'd be safe but I stayed in Brooklyn, dodging in and out of the shadows trying not to get got.

But on my way home from the market today a little daydream played in my head, one where a certain literary journal loved my story so much it got published and suddenly my phone was abuzz with people wanting to know who this next, great, freakin awesome literary STAR was. That little fantasy totally helped me forget that I was lugging home 128oz of juice with arms that were beaten and battered by one measly yoga class. It also gave me a dash of hope. Just when I was about to quit, too, this fantasy pops up, almost as if it's in cahoots with Ms. Amber Cabral, whom I suspect wrote this post with me (or other creatives like me) in mind.

So yet again, on the brink of giving up the dream, I didn't. Dos Passos Review, you ain't ready for me...

Seriously, something good had better be on its way to me because this is NOT how I want to spend my summer: fat, anxious, depressed, stressed and running from invisible assassins. What kind of life is this?

* The Universe the side eye*
because REALLY- I think I've done my penance. can I please get my fabulous reward now??