Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The Problem With American Children...

...is that they have no real consequences for stuff like this

and this

And don't even get me started on the OTHER 7 year old who drove his grandmother's car to the mall... HUH? WHAT?

I think I will open up a "reform" school where bad-ass kids AND their parents and/or caregivers will be required to live for, say, a month, and learn how to be PARENT and CHILD. After a month I'd work with them on an "outpatient" basis.

Because obviously, somewhere along the line, there was a communication breakdown on what that relationship entails. This includes but is not limited to:

>telling your kids grown folk business- can you just let your kids be kids, and not burden them with tales about how your boss is a dick and how your best friend is having an affair with the mailman? Thanks!

>not being afraid to put your foot down. So what if they say, "I hate you" afterwards. THEY'RE KIDS! They don't know shit. Once you accept that, it's all gravy.

>instilling the proper amount of fear in their hearts. I don't mean have the kid trembling and flinching everytime you pass by; I mean enough fear that when their friends say, "Hey, let's go steal this car right quick" they'll be like, "And have my crazy-ass mother come down on me? You're out your ever-lovin' mind!"

On a side note- my girls better never even have a passing thought about doing anything even remotely similar to what I've seen in these videos...LAWD, the ass-whoopin' that would commence would make Joan Crawford say "Daaaaamn, girl, calm down! They're only kids!!"

Mommie Dearest - Joan Crawford Abuse

shiiiit, I might as well buy my orange jumpsuit now, just in case...

*smooches...giving my kids a preemptive side eye...*
...and please don't get me started on parents who like to say, "Me and my [daughter/son] are like best friends!" I HATE that shit! YOU ARE PARENT AND CHILD!! NOT FRIENDS!!

get your own damn friends, you fucking losers...

What? oh, the weekend update? yeah, listen, I'm ridin' the crimson wave right now... I hardly have time to deal with photoshop. I'll try again for tomorrow's post!