Friday, June 20, 2008

I've Been Reading Headlines Again

I only do it about 2-3 times a year in a non-job related capacity (because, as Jack pointed out, I do have to read news articles about energy and retiree issues for clients every day... BOOOO!). And sure I read the DR news items daily, but reading US news is like ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

WAIT- on a side note: Ladies, if you love make-up, especially ALMOST FREE make-up visit the e.l.f. site; individual items are ONE DOLLAR!! Nordstroms is redoing the line and wants to sell off anything with the old logo. Use the code CAROLINA at checkout for a 50% off discount.

AND WAIT WAIT- THIS JUST IN: My sister hooked me up with a link to some of the WACKEST Dominican artists... EVER, you hear me? I mean so wack I'm about to start reppin' PR instead!!

Mari has correctly labeled this DR buffoonery, because what else could it be? And I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but she asked (and I also wondered): Is gay the new straight? Although, frankly, I can't imagine that the gay community would even WANT to claim these fools. Hell I share a heritage with them and *I* don't want to claim them!!

Just feast your eyes on:


Aleyro Destino


El Verdadero Feo (word!!)

Freddy Fuente (make sure you peep the frosted mauve lipstick he's rockin')

Kiko El Presidente

Los Reales Negrones (hard core thugs, yo; you betta recognize!)

Marcos, El Negro D'Chocolate

And last but certainly not least, Silvio Mora

Okay, back to the news, as if you can even focus now that half of you are going over to e.l.f. to buy make-up and the other half is throwing up...

Sometimes I see a headline and it grabs me so I roll with it. Like the one about the dude in Italy who kidnapped his girlfriend and forced her to iron his clothes and wash the dishes. No, really. He dragged her out of a local pub, brought her back to his place and threatened her into doing his chores.

Or the one about a Romanian village that re-elected their mayor... except that, um, he's dead. And they knew it when they voted for him. I mean, damn! How bad does the opposition have to be for a DEAD GUY to win an election??

Or the one about Chinese South Africans now being classified as 'black' so that they can benefit from government affirmative action programs. Oh. So it's okay to be black when it suits you, right? Just like in Do the Right Thing when the Korean grocer was all like, "We same! Me you same!" Yeah, right, but if my cousin tried to marry your daughter you'd have ten heart attacks!

But my absolute favorite? That video from Cuba showing the pow-wow between the Castro brothers (NOT to be confused with the Jonas Brothers OR the Naked Brothers Band) and Hugo "MotherFucker" Chavez. With no available audio. Because this is supposed to convince me that Fidel is alive and well and still talking politics so vehemently. Riiiiiight!

Just how stupid do these people think I am? You know when I'll be convinced that Castro is still kickin' it with the living? When he appears in a REAL TIME news conference, speaking words, with his own mouth, standing next to that day's New York Times and reciting the latest items from off the internet.

That's when.

*smooches...staying away from headlines for at least another 3 months*
oh yeah, and I think somewhere someone said something about the Celtics winning something... but I forget what... hmmm, guess it wasn't important...