Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Touched a Nerve, Did I?

A response from one of my recent exes regarding the "Lost Mojo" post:

Ex (via text): I know it's in there and I know I can get it out. Don't throw in the towel so early.

Me (via text): Seriously- I'm done. I'm going back to celibacy.

Ex (via text): Noooooo

Me (via text): Sorry- you had your shot.

THEN, he CALLS me- AT MY PLACE OF BUSINESS- to supposedly school me on the ins and outs (no pun intended) of lovemaking. Whatever, man.

Here's an abbreviated excerpt of the end of that conversation, after he went on and on like an old man about his poor eating habits and high cholesterol level:

Me: You know what? Call me when you're the Ex of 5 years ago...

Ex: 5 years ago I still had my mom here to cook for me...

Me: Oh, I'm sorry...do you need your mommy?

Then he got mad and hurried me off the phone. But ya'll know I can't leave well enough alone. I emailed him:
any last words before I post our recent chat on my blog?

And he replied:
Are you proud of being FRIGID?

And I replied:
I suppose there are worse things to be. And I wouldn't say frigid...I'd say "not well accompanied" PS- this material is GOLD! Keep it coming, love...

Readers, I can't make this stuff up. A camera should follow me around on a daily basis. This is my real life!

*smooches...googling convents right this minute*
and win or lose
just that you choose this little war
is what kills you
and either/or it's that this war
is maybe also what thrills you