Thursday, August 23, 2007

I'm Totally Crushing on a D.C. Blogger!

I almost feel like a 14-year-old freshman watching the captain of the football team during my first homecoming as a high school "woman" when I read his blog. That is how deep my crush has travelled.

As a wordsmith, I have to admit a certain level of attraction for men who know the difference between a subject and a predicate and why they are both important in a sentence. But those men usually look (and sometimes smell) like ass, or have a *ahem* preference for other men.

But I have found someone, ONLINE, who both writes well and looks good...and he's straight. I didn't think it was possible, but he really exists.

I stumbled upon his site while browsing through last year's Black Weblog Award winners; his site won Best Humor Blog so I was immediately drawn to it, mostly because I wanted to find it unfunny and consider myself superior to those who had voted for the drivel he was trying to pass off as humorous. But it was actually funny. As in I laughed out loud and almost got busted not doing work at work.

His brand of humor and parody and delusions of grandeur (with a dash of self-deprecation) was such a draw that I felt I'd found my blog soul mate, if, you know, I actually took the time to put more effort into this blog and I believed in soul mates.

But I firmly suspected he was the garden variety troll writer. You know the guy: sits in front of his computer all day, never gets out, barely showers and has looks that even his momma can't love. So color me stupid when I saw his MySpace page. He's actually kinda cute. I'd dare say he is rather attractive. Kind of like a young Al B. Sure! but cooler and fitter.

Of course, this Jaded NYer can't help but think that he probably only dates dark-skinned girls, or 22 year old white girls, or has an Asian or "big-booty-hoe" fetish...and I just CANNOT compete with the big-booty-hoes of the world! I'm probably the only Dominican woman on the planet who can't compete with the big-booty-hoes of the world.

It's almost too good to be true: he's a brotha, smart, employed, funny, good-looking, can write without using IM-speak...can I have him for Christmas? Wrapped in a bow? Under some mistletoe?

So what if he's in D.C.? You forget- I have a D.C. connection.

Hmmm, all of a sudden I miss my baby sister something awful. I should really go visit her...

*smooches...with a real live crush on another human being besides John Cusack!*
Soft and only
Lost and lonely
Strange as angels
Dancing in the deepest oceans
Twisting in the water
You're just like a dream