Friday, October 06, 2006

The Possibilities of Butterlies

Sometimes the anticipation of a first kiss reminds you why it's worth it to dust yourself off after a devastating break-up.

It makes all those days in between the time your old lover rips your heart out and your new lover takes you in his arms, those days when all was lost and you just wanted to cry and die a million deaths, appear foolishly wasted.

You realize all isn't lost. Romance is not dead. It just happened that you had exhausted your possibilities. But just for a little while.

A new lover brings new adventures. And most importantly- the possibility of butterflies.

These thoughts keep you going.

Even when your old lover resurfaces, still tugging at your heart strings, awakening old desires. Even when he still calls you and wants to see you. And claims to really care for you, "...for real for real."

Even when you give in and agree to see him.

The possibilities always bring back the butterflies. Those damn flutterly butterflies.

They'll get you every time!

the answer to each moment must be yes
and the question: can you live with that?
becomes the test
so you weigh it against that aching in your chest
and that secretly relentless emptiness