Why has Hoover not tried to contact me? Could he have read my blog? I would die! People- it was never my intention to hurt anybody's feelings...but oh well...it just saves me the trouble of having to ignore his phone calls until he curses me out in an email or text message.
Why did I see this bald guy in Lower Manhattan, trying to hide his baldness with his dreads and that nasty ass spray on hair? People still buy the spray on hair stuff? That's sad. Who did he think he was foolin'??
Why did my next door neighbor try to get all up in my business today, when I was doing her a favor? "Oh you're a single mom? How snazzy!" Snazzy? Snazzy? I'll show you snazzy you old hag! And then had the nerve to ask me if I work- what are you, writing a book, Granny? Yes I work, bitch! I do not, as you probably thought, sit on my ass and collect government checks. I work DAMN HARD...okay maybe not damn hard, but I work, dammit.
Why are there 79 days left until my thesis is due and all I can manage to do is update my blog and watch Dave Chappelle's lost episodes on YouTube?
And finally, WHY did I just have two helpings at dinner tonight?? It's like, the more people compliment me on my weightloss, the more food I stuff down my throat. Why do I ALWAYS sabotage my own happiness? But that's probably more a question for Dr. Phil...I'll ask him tomorrow...
but there's no me
left for me
no incidental time of day
no wild adventures
except in darkness
so dark i'd rather not say
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Maybe I AM a Heartless Bitch...And Other Musings
More genius from The Jaded NYer
Labels: Musings, Romance? What's Romance?