Tuesday, July 17, 2007

The Jaded NYer Goes to Washington

I hadn't seen my baby sis in a minute, so I decided that I would hop on one of those crazy Chinatown buses, again, and head on down to D.C. to pay her a tiny visit. And oh what I time we had.

In order to appreciate this blog post you have to understand a few things:

1. My sister...she's crazy. Not the usual "ha ha" fun times crazy, but certifiable. And when she's pissed...watch out. I only have myself to blame, though; I made her that way.

2. I've been carded maybe four times in my adult life, so I rarely even carry ID anymore, nor do I remember when it expires...which it just so happens, my ID expired this year...in May.

3. The Adams Morgan section of D.C. is not parking friendly. At all.

4. Dominicans? Almost non-existent in D.C.

5. Mari practically grew up in the church, so we have a certain level of behavioral expectations from her...which little by little is getting shattered...and it all started with the Key West trip last year...

6. All the videos in this blog are poorly shot and almost always 15 seconds too long. Also, I tried to embed them into the post, but YouTube and Google Video were giving me so much trouble, I finally had to instead settle for including the link to the URL. Please forgive me, as I am still learning how to use my digital camera and all this newfangled technology!

First night there was pretty uneventful- I arrived, we drove a bit, got pizza, went home. Mari went to bed, I watched TV and surfed the net.

The next morning, instead of staying home to entertain and feed her house guest, Mari went to some sorority community service event and left me to fend for myself in a house with no food and shotty internet service. What was a Jaded NYer to do...but snoop around. And shoot this piece I like to call, "The Truth About Mari:"

This was after I scoured around looking for food to keep my stomach from eating my other organs:

And when I finally found some food, I also found this:

After I had some food in my belly and Mari came home to fix the internet, we went to RFK Stadium where there was this supposed "Latino" festival, only in D.C. Latino means Central and South Americans...no Caribbean folk to be found for miles around. But a popular Dominican singer, Raul Acosta of Oro Solido was going to perform, and the advert promised us comida tipica, so we went.

What we found instead was a bunch of short peeps from El Salvador, non-Dominican food and a cover band that thought they were the shyt. But wherever we go, Mari and I make our own fun, and this time was no exception:

This is Maria...she never stopped dancing during the entire festival

This is some crazy booty dance started by Toño Rosario...a crazy Dominican

That evening we were to see some finalists from the next cycle of America's Next Top Model, but we stayed too long at the fair. However, we thought we'd go to the venue anyway and see what was up, only to find that, even with my under-eye bags and dark circles, I GET CARDED IN D.C. And wouldn't you know it? My permit just expired two moths ago. WTF?? Why didn't anybody remind me?? And yes, I did say permit...what of it?

Still we were hopeful that some other place would come to their senses and NOT CARD A 32 YEAR OLD WOMAN, went home to change and drove back out to Adams Morgan. The car ride was a blast:

Bollywood's Next Big Star:

But driving around a 10 block radius for 2 hours looking for parking? Then driving to a Maryland IHOP only to find it would be a half hour wait? And then finding the supposed 24hr supermarket closed as well? Finally having to settle for chicken strips at a local McDonald's? Well I found it amusing. Mari...not so much...

The next day, she was still a little bitter:

But again, a fun car ride took her mind off of things:

Until I realized...I was gonna miss my bus:

And although I had to pay an extra $20 to get home at a decent hour, it was all worth it!

Highlight of the trip:
All the fine ass thugs I saw on the streets of D.C.... hey boys...

Low point of the trip:
I forgot to make a video of a pissed off Mari trying to find parking...or maybe it was for the best...it would have sucked to bring my camera back home in pieces...

Would I do it again?
Hell YEAH! As a matter of fact, I'll be back there in mid-August. Can't wait!

Hey boyyyysssss....

*smooches...from our nation's capitol*
Wont You Meet Me At The Bar
Respect Big Pimpin
'Tell Me How You Feel
Mama Tell Me What You Sippin'
A Certified Dime Piece
Deserve Louy 1-3
150 A Shot
3 For You And 3 For Me