Friday, May 11, 2007

Goodbye, Enchilada Fridays...

Irene finally guilted me into picking up my bridesmaid's dress for Celia's wedding from the bridal shop, the dress I've been avoiding for months for fear that I would not fit it.

And guess what?

I don't fit it.

I just want to cry and scream and punch somebody in the face, maybe the delivery guy from the Mexican place that's been feeding my enchilada addiction every week...goddamn pusher man!!

Last night I tried on the dress and when it didn't close, I told myself if was because I couldn't reach the zipper. "I'll wait til the morning and then have K zip it for me," I said with my head in the clouds.

So this morning, I scooted into the dress and waited for my babies to zip me up. But it wasn't working.

From the front, I look pretty good:

You can tell that I'm smaller than I used to be and all my belly fat is cleverly disguised (nice dress choice, Celia!!!):

However, there is no denying that my breasts are too large for this dress. I should have just bought the next size up and had it altered:

How soon would I be able to recover from a breast reduction and rib removal? By June 7th? Because goddammit if that's not what it's gonna take to get me into this &*$% dress!!!

*smooches...not so happy with the twins right now*
I want to be the girl with the most cake
He only loves those things because he loves to see them break
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
And someday, you will ache like I ache