Sunday, May 20, 2007

BITCH!!

Meet Lady Estrogen. My arch nemesis. My secret identity that's not so secret.

She comes along once a month to ruin what is otherwise the normal life of a 3o-something single mother of two.

She's also the reason I started my inner peace journey: Lady Estrogen takes over my body sometimes, much like the whole Nikki/Jessica dynamic on Heroes, except The Lady hasn't killed anyone...yet.

When she's not around, I make pretty good decisions; I eat healthy and get enough sleep and stick to my self-imposed celibacy and continue to find the good in everything that happens in my life.

When she rears her ultra-mega-fawnky self, I order enchiladas by the dozen, spend money WAY beyond my budget, slack off at work and cry during cheesy episodes of Lost (but really, you'd have to have a heart made of stone NOT to cry during Charlie and Hurley's goodbye scene!).

And just when I think I have her licked, just when I think the meditation is working and that I'm ready to make important decisions and be SURE of those important decisions, here she comes putting doubt and regret in place when it's too late to do anything different.

Obviously this is a relationship thing I'm rambling about. I won't go into too many details-I want to keep the mystery alive in our relationship :) - but needless to say, it should be illegal for me to take nice comfortable situations and in one drunken night, allow Lady Estrogen to take matters into her own hands and fuck my whole world up something AWFUL!!!.

Or at least that's how it feels, because, you know, I have PMS.

Skanky WHORE! I hate her!!!

*smooches...considering a shady organ removal in Tijuana...*
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Bag lady you gone miss your bus
You can't hurry up
Cause you got too much stuff
When they see you comin
Niggas take off runnin
From you it's true oh yes they do