Smarty P. Jomes: How come responsible people always be gettin' punished #nshit? Yes I said, "be gettin'!" You tax single people to high hell, good girls always end up with bad guys, hos get all the quality paynus...I don't wanna be good no more! I'mma be SO bad, my subjects and verbs won't agree! #badtothebone
ME: oookay then... *backs away slowly*
ME: I must add, though- when I treat dudes like shit, they want me so much more *smh*
SPJ: Mmhmm. I'mma start doing that. Just rude for no fucking reason
Him: Good morning.
SPJ: Watch. I'mma be beatin' 'em off me
ME: No, it's more like...
Him: I love your hair like that.
Me: Shut up and fuck me!
SPJ: O_O!!! #youwin #idontwannaplaynomo
ME: You don't wanna be so mean that they leave.
SPJ: Ahh ...
ME: Just enough that they question themselves for staying.
SPJ: Rudeness peppered with nekkid activities and dry sandwiches
ME: ...And use that pussy like a Venus fly trap on dem hos!
SPJ: #gotit #_#
ME: Throw in a random homemade meal- for no good reason- and that ni**a ain't going nowhere!
Me: You want some fried chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy?
Him: We going to KFC?
Me: We going to the kitchen.
Him: O_O! *dreamy look*
Me: Now STFU and eat this chicken!
SPJ: *nods* Got it.
ME: And when he's annoying and clingy, hit 'em with a "go call your boys and watch a game or some shit. I'm busy!" He might just propose... Sex, food & sports- it's all a ni**a want/need.
SPJ: Wait, I'm always the clingy one.
ME: THEN STOP THAT SHIT!
Tiffany: O_O! *cues up Tweet's "Sports, Sex and Food" in the iPod*
*smooches...wishing you a man-filled weekend*
and if you're a hetero dude...well...I wish you lots of sports, sex and food.