Monday, July 11, 2011

That Awkward Moment...

...when you're on a date with a man to whom you've conceded to giving this whole monogamy-marriage-family a try, even though he's proven himself not really compatible with you and your life in the past, and think you look cute because you've lost 12 pounds, but he points out that you're still a fat ass cow with a looooong way to go until arriving at fit-ville... that's the moment you realize being single ain't all that bad.

So you go home, give the middle finger to washing the make-up off your face because, really- who the fuck cares at this point, right? And just plop yourself down on the couch you've been calling your bed for almost a year now (because your real bed is too big and the closeness to the couch cushions simulates not sleeping alone. True story!) and remember why it was you gave him his walking papers in the first place.

Exes are exes for a reason, y'all. I get that now. I didn't want to believe it before but yeah, I finally understand it. Because you ain't fitna have me wearing EYE MAKEUP and uncomfortable mother-fucking shoes AND insist I put a comb through my 'fro just to call me fat.

Negro, BYE!

*smooches...still mad I rushed home just to be insulted*
I was having a good ol' time stuffing my FAT face with fried chicken and baked beans out on Long Island and had to end it early to make this date happen...ol' rude ass motherfucker...