Monday, October 15, 2007

I've Lost My Internal City Map...and Other Musings

My weekend in a nutshell...

The Cold, Hard, Blubbery Truth
I have fallen off the wagon hardcore, man! I've gained back almost 10lbs of the weight I so proudly shed not too long ago, and it shows! Clothes that fit me beautifully just a couple of months ago now struggle to fasten. It's completely embarrassing. But that's it, I cannot go around looking like this; I've got my annual Cali trip in January and PR in May coming up. And the jelly belly is NOT invited.

I've Lost My Internal City Map
Used to be I knew the UWS and The Village like the back of my hand. Those were my stomping grounds and I knew every shop on every corner and where to get the best hot chocolate on any street. But I suppose moving to Brooklyn and hanging out with other Brooklyn-ites and basically only leaving this borough to go to work has had a nasty little side effect- I don't know where anything is anymore.

Saturday I took the babies to the Children's Museum on W83rd, and K decided that she wanted stuffed shells for dinner. So I suggested we go to Carmine's, one of the best family-style Italian restaurants I know. But god damn if I couldn't find it! I walked all the way down to 57th before I gave up and just took them to the Brooklyn Diner (at least I still know where THAT is!) for burgers.

I've got to cross the bridge more often...

Are You Happy Now, Irene?
My mami and tia and I were not able to get any tickets to see Joel Osteen at MSG this weekend...all they had were seats behind the stage. Can MSG PLEASE explain to me WHY they sell seats BEHIND the stage? It's so freakin' ri-DUN-culous! I suppose Sunday's meditation will have to suffice for my soul cleansing.

Technites Do It With Precision
Sunday morning Irene and I went to a Brooklyn Tech HS alumni breakfast, just for kicks, and guess what?? The final piece to my "missing friends" puzzle just showed up and sat at our table! It felt like a Festivus miracle! Gus- or rather Satan, as we called him- was my lab-partner-in-crime...we terrorized classmates and teachers alike, and when I moved to Buffalo after graduation, he was one of the few people I actually missed.

But there he was, all grown-up and married with a job and stuff!

And on a side note, can I please talk about how crazy BIG my HS was? We had like thousands in our graduating class. So I wasn't surprised that the other Class of '93 attendee, Michael Tom, was someone I'd NEVER heard of...

Silly as it sounds, I feel so complete now, like things are coming back to me that were mine but I carelessly lost. I loved my friends dearly, and HS for me was a BLAST. And well, seeing Gus made up for the fact that all they had as breakfast meat at this shindig was swine!

Church Just Got Even Creepier...
...if that's even possible! After the alumni breakfast I went to meet my mami at her church (she had my babies) but got there too early. So I had to sit in on the sermon. I took a quick nap, but woke up just in time for the closing prayer where some guy said- and I kid you NOT:

"Lord, help us to die every day. Help us to lose our identity in this kingdom, and to die and live again in the next."

WTF? Has he been sippin' some of Michael Jackson's Jesus Juice? That's the CRAZIEST shit I've EVER heard!

*smooches...kinda glad that Joely-bear was sold out...*
If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, "It's beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,"
I'd love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, "I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them."