Wednesday, September 26, 2007

You Look Like You Could Use a Laugh...

My posts have been so heavy lately. They've lost their silliness, brevity and fun-ness. So here's a little treat for you.

A couple of weeks ago I met a guy, former lawyer, who seemed nice, cool, whatever. We only chatted a couple of times after meeting and then I finally gave him a call (blocking MY cell number of course...I've learned the hard way that sometimes that's necessary).

So we're on the phone talking about whatever: he went to Stuyvesant (my rival HS) and claims he used to be a B-Boy in the 80's, but he used the word "vernacular" and "heretofore" during our conversation, and claimed that he played Wagner for his son on the regular...his B-Boy status was in question. He also mentions that he has narcolepsy, which I thought was ironic because I'm an insomniac. It was a turn-off right from jump but I was curious, and he said it happened rarely and never at "crucial" moments.

I tell him that I went to Brooklyn Tech (and he snickered! can you imagine?) and that I was a writer who'd abandoned her scientific career path for the life of a starving artist...the usual BS you say when everything is new and you're trying to impress...

Then all of a sudden...out of NOWHERE...dead air.

"Hello? Hello?" I asked, but to no avail.

Want to know what happened?

HE FELL ASLEEP!!!! That's right; I'm not too proud to admit it. It's just that I thought the days of the toothless, coonish, really bad dates were behind me. But I guess there was one guy I'd forgotten to cover...the narcoleptic.

I tell ya, man, this shyt ONLY happens to ME!!!

*smooches...trying to ge...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
You looking just a little too hard at me
Standing just a little too close to me
You saying 'Not quite enough' to me
You sipping just a little too slow for me