Friday, September 07, 2007

September 12th at 12:30PM

On that date, at that time, my phone will ring and it will be the secretary of my grad school program, telling me the panel is ready to begin our conference call.

And during that call, members of the panel, including my thesis mentor and 2nd reader, will discuss what works and what doesn't in my creative and craft thesis. They may suggest slight changes or a complete overhaul of the work.

I will be in my office, door closed, listening and shaking in my boots.

It's sucks to be judged.

Deborah went through it already and claims it took 20 minutes and was a breeze. But then again, Deborah is an awesome writer. And while I boast on this blog that I am THE MASTER OF FINE ARTS, deep down I'm not that confident in what I submitted anymore.

Because these stories are my babies. I've been working on them for years, turning them around in my head and finding the best way to put them down on paper. And it's hard to hear bad things about your baby.

The craft paper...well that's a load of BS I rambled on and on about for 23 pages, and whatever changes they suggest won't do anything but make the paper better. I suck at essays and went into this knowing I would need tons of help on that.

But the short stories...I want the panel to be blown away by my stories. I want them to say they are wonderful stories and that they've never read anything so fine. I have a thick skin and can take criticism, but, just this once, can't my stories just be the best?

I'm worrying for nothing; it's not until next Wednesday and what's done is done. I can't go back and do anything different, right? Unless one of you possesses a time machine...that would really help me out...

* nervous I just want to sleep for a week*
It's gonna be all right, no matter what they say
It's gonna be a good day, just wait and see
It's gonna be alright, cause I'm alright with me
It's gonna be, it's gonna be, it's gotta be