I Might Vote Again This Year! ***UPDATE***

***SORRY, BUT DUE TO ILLNESS, THIS SHOW HAD TO BE CANCELED. STILL LOVE YOU, THOUGH!***


The first time I voted was in the most recent presidential election...and look how GREAT that turned out *rolls eyes* Still, I'll be at the polls again tomorrow because for New York it's a biggie- we're choosing a new governor. And I don't know about the rest of the state but Paterson gets on my DAMN nerves and chances are he won't be getting any support from the Jaded Empire.

So of course tonight's Monday Musings is all about VOTING and the many reasons why you should with our fabulous co-host, The F$%k-It List.



Listen, I used to be like you, apathetic to the Washington machine, preaching the whole, "my vote doesn't make a difference" schpiel but UGH! I gotta voice my opinions on term limits AND get that lame duck Paterson out of Albany before he destroys my home state!

Won't you tune in tonight, and spread the word to your non-voting friends? Gracias!!

*smooches...taking a moment to make a difference*
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and I promise to keep the conspiracy theory talk to a minimum. PROMISE!!

"God And Other Artists Are Always A Little Obscure"

It’s a chilly Friday here in good ol’ Brooklyn, so I’ll keep it simple and pleasant today.

The Jaded NYer is a lover of the fine arts- you heard it here first. Now, I was only afforded the gift of the written word in that category, but I still love to surround myself with everything artistic that is at my disposal. Good music, great photography, beautiful paintings, thought-provoking cinema, and the fluidity of the ballet- you know I love it all. So today I want to draw your attention to two painters that I’ve met recently that have made me step back and just go, “WOW” that I think you all will love.


First up is Brian Kirhagis, an artist from Baltimore residing in Long Island whose work was so beautiful I wrote a feature article on him for XI Magazine (you can read it by clicking here). My favorite piece is Tied Up, and the story behind the painting is even better than the work itself!


The other artist, Emma Trincal, I only met yesterday on my way to K’s school for parent-teacher conferences. She’s showing some magnificent paintings at ShopTalk & Art Gallery (on Lafayette across from BAM) until November 4th and TRUST ME- you’re going to want to see her stuff. One oil painting in particular caught my eye, Night Visitor, so if anyone has a G to spare and wants to get it for me, I’ll be forever grateful.

With all of this beauty waiting for you in this wretched world, why don’t you all forgo all this paganistic Halloween crap this weekend and indulge in some fine art instead?

*smooches...wishing you a safe and art-filled weekend*
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When you check out these artists, tell them Raquel sent you...

And The Oscar Goes To…

I don’t know if I mentioned this before at other Jaded Empire meetings, but I plan to EGOT.

(And for you losers that aren’t hip to the genius of 30 Rock yet, to EGOT is to win an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and Tony.)

This could jeopardize my plan to remain behind the scenes and not deal with all the pitfalls of fame, but while watching Brothers & Sisters this week I was gifted a sweet, motivational nugget that helped push me in my endeavors:

“You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you.”

Isn’t that just the most PERFECT advice ever? I’m such a planner. Like, seriously, my whole life consists of TO DO lists and day planners and frankly, tons of disappointment when things don’t go as well as they do on paper.

All that to say: I want to do great things in the entertainment industry. I want to write books that fly off the shelves; movies that sell out box office and make you think; songs that stand the test of time; TV shows that have killer Nielsen ratings; productions that rule Broadway for years ala Cats. I want all of that for the Jaded Empire, and this might mean that my plan to live a quiet little life as a writer on the top floor of a brownstone in Brooklyn hidden away from the world might not be feasible.

With this realization in mind, I’ve been practicing acceptance speeches- who do I thank? Should I be funny, crass, Jaded? What should I wear? I’ve also been practicing being interviewed by Barbara Walters, Ellen, Letterman and even my nemesis, Oprah. I practice being on Regis & Kelly, The Today Show and sure, if his show is still around, I’ll even sit and chat with that big-headed beaner, George Lopez.

I do this to make sure I won’t embarrass myself, my family and to prepare for the difficult questions about my father, the leaked naked photos and my past with drugs and alcohol. I’m getting ready for all of it.

I’m a planner, after all, and even though this was never a path in my original dream chart it’s a necessary evil for the life I know is waiting for me.

Now all I need is a stylist...

*smooches...kind of psyched to meet Ellen*
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I’ve been following her career since she was the receptionist on the TV Show Open House.

Blood In, Blood Out

The older I get, the less inclined I am to make new friends. I have my little core group, my ride or die posse, my consiglieries. I have little interest in new people, unless they are so awesome, I'd be stupid not to befriend them.

Now I know that this blog is probably read by people I've never met and might not ever meet. That's cool. Hope you're all enjoying the insanity I place before you. But for the most part it's my inner circle of lovelies that interact with me online.

And I like it that way- small, intimate, comfy.

So for someone to just pop in outta the blue and have the audacity to request to be on MY blogroll, and offer to add me to THEIR blogroll because it will drive more traffic my way... well obviously this person has NO IDEA how this blogging game works, and they ESPECIALLY don't know how I run this.

With the exception of a few people with whom I only interact online, I KNOW everyone on my blog roll. They're there because I consider them a friend and I think what they write about complements what I write about and we're a little family. If this person, who asked to be added, had done their research (looked through my archives, clicked on the other blogs) they would have realized that The Jaded NYer is enveloped in velvet ropes and the gatekeepers are big, surly assholes who, even if you're ON the list, might not let you in.

Don't come in here all brand new and shit and try to be down. It just doesn't work like that! Am I being elitist and bitchy over something so trivial and stupid? YES. Do I give a fuck? NO. I don't like to be told how to run my own site. If this person had just left it alone after I said no, this would have been a different post, probably about my kids being grounded or something. But no, they had to try and get the last word in, as if more traffic to my blog impresses me. Fuck outta here with that noise! We're a tight group here; we don't take too kindly to strangers.

The worst part? THEIR site was so UNJaded-like. It was some web portal about romance and dating... HUH?

Yeah, this person was clearly barking up the wrongest tree in the wrongest forest of the wrongest village on the internet.

Someone please buy them a map...

*smooches...with a side of snark just because*
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oooh, that felt good. I haven't ranted about something in a very long time. I'm BACK, baby!

Dancing Babies

I had the best time with the babies this weekend- all three of them. I went to scoop up Miss Olivia and the four of us hung out, made a pie and then went to visit my Penzo grandmother. She was such a well-behaved doll!

I mean, look at this video:



Like, why is she so cute? And why is K so damn tall? And most importantly, why was N in the background doing the MOST?! The fist pumping... pelvis thrusts... I CANNOT!

Listen, I'd barely slept the night before and all the suspended train service was getting on my damn nerves, but Sunday was still alright with me.

*smooches...reliving Sunday afternoon right this minute*
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and can we please talk about WHY Miss Olivia knows the words to this song? It's all cute and games until she's rapping along to Wacka Flacka!