Yes, after about four or five years of loyal service and impeccable performance, my LG Cosmos had to be put down. It was a crazy, hectic Saturday, where things weren't going as planned, no one showed up to my writing workshop and I was on the rag. And then, right in the middle of barely giving a fuck about teaching this class, the screen wigged out. Le sigh. Poor Avery; she tried to hang in there, still taking calls and texts, but in the end we both knew it was time to say goodbye.
|I'll never forget her|
"Avery wasn't the ratchet type. She never sent X-rated photos and certainly refused to accept them. Once in a while she participated in flirty texts, but her whole purpose was to bring simplicity and order into my life. Occasionally she snapped a shot of a beautiful Brooklyn sunset, or tweeted something witty on the fly, but mostly she kept me connected in the most minimally intrusive way possible. Avery, girl, we've been through it, even a freakin' hurricane, and you never lost connection or battery life. I'm going to miss you."
So, you guys, Avery wouldn't want us to shed any tears. She was a true G that way. Instead, she'd want you all to welcome her replacement, Peter "Petey" DiVoli, my new LG Cosmos 3.
|Petey in his fancy grey suit|
And be nice, because we suspect he has mob ties, but we were afraid to ask...
*smooches...spillin a lil ginger tea for Avery*
feel free to leave your memories of Avery in the comments