FRIEND: How come when I look up "multiracial family holiday dinner" in Thinkstock, the minority wife always looks like the help?
ME: Because white dudes always marry help-looking black women. And vice versa. How's that?
FRIEND: That'll play
ME: I must admit- it's extremely rare that I'll come across an interracial couple that doesn't look like what we've described
ME: And when I do, the black woman is bi-racial herself. You know what this made me think about?
ME: I've noticed that I'll give a pass to dark-skinned black men who aren't that cute because of their dark-skin. Like I'll still be attracted to them. Is that racist? But let a light-skinned dude be average. I'm all "DO BETTER!"
FRIEND: lmao! Ma'am...
ME: It's reverse for black women. I think Massa has programmed me to think as such...
FRIEND: prolly. It's all Massa's fault
ME: How do I deprogram so I don't end up married to some creature from the black planet (dot com)? I need to see ugly for ugly, and not skin color. I'm too cute to date a creature!
FRIEND: Agreed. I'm programmed to want to physically violate attractive dark skinned men but only want to have the children of light skinned men so I can have brown babies.
ME: LMAO! Ma'am
FRIEND: What? It's true.
ME: We bofe need deprogramming
FRIEND: I'm extra careful every time I sleep with a dark skinned dude. "You gotta wear a condom AND pull out."
ME: I need you to leave and never come back
FRIEND: That's my truth.
*smooches...realizing my friends STILL ain't shit*
but I guess we'll be ain't shit together