Friday, December 22, 2006

Subscriber Spotlight: Just Jack 2006

Readers: I'd like you all to meet Jack.
I can't even remember when we became friends.

Jack didn't start at BTHS as a freshman, so he was a new fish in a sea of sophomores who had a year under our belts and thought we were the shit. What I remember is that he sang a lot, was kind of religious, and actually wore a dashiki to school one day. I still shake my head at the memory of that dashiki. You'd understand if you could see how WHITE he looked in it...

But he was very much Puerto Rican, and everything I'd ever been told about PR's growing up went straight out the window as soon as we meshed. He was not two-faced, conniving, and did not pull out a switchblade and threaten to cut me. Although I still suspect that he might put olives in his frijoles...

We bonded over our mutual excitement for the engineering classes we signed up for and our mutual disdain for our professors. Most days I felt like the devil on his shoulder, and other days he was the devil on mine. It brought a tear to my eye when, one clear day during our junior year, Jack- who prior to meeting me had taken his studies VERY seriously- got a 33 on a test. I think my score was like a 20. Out of a hundred. I was so proud to call him friend! Especially after Mr. P told him to stop hanging out with me lest his grades suffer even greater peril. In front of the whole class. And he stayed my friend anyway.

One of our proudest moments from those days? Directing traffic on one of the back staircases in between periods.

A not-so-proud-moment-but-fuck-it-who-cares-anymore? Being a bit unkind to a fellow classmate of the Jewish persuasion.

Memory that still brings tears to my eyes? Cafeteria, game of spades, a window opening and closing, a silly remark made by Jack that caused an outburst of laughter- and chocolate milk- from Irene onto my white shirt. It was priceless.

Today we've reconnected and bonded over our mutual hatred for his ex, Puta Face, and our mutual disdain for mine. Plus the fact that in our time apart (1994-2006) we've lived rather parallel lives. Except that Jack sees a doc- with a loose prescription pad- for his troubles, while I insist on letting the voices in my head duke it out like in the movie Identity (it'll be interesting to see which one wins out in the end...).

Our similarities include:
  • Swooning over guys with strong arms

  • Bringing two kids each into this world to add to the Army we're forming

  • L-O-V-I-N-G the movie Chasing Amy

  • Holding a place near and dear to our hearts for classic Salsa music

  • Loathing people who make IM spelling errors...YOUR is not the same as YOU'RE, dammit!!!
Even though Jack has a penchant for the dramatics, there's no one else I can call at 2AM to cry over shit that's not even that serious. And when he's going off about Puta Face, in Spanish no less, it's like music to my ears. I'm all at attention like a good little audience. I'll even instigate shit to hear him go off.

He gets all my obscure jokes and is awesome at talking me off the ledge...unless I'm threatening to jump into a sea of naked men...then he's all like: "ESPERAME, CARAJO!" We would totally be a couple if he were about 5" taller...and heterosexual...for now we'll settle for being a couple of silly-ass mo-fos.

Jack inspires me to be sucia and to pound my alcohol (and my men *wink*) like a man. He's got a 144 IQ and takes a moment to remind me whenever he can. We share the same wicked, jaded sense of humor, like to make fun of Mexicans, keep each other's sexy secrets, and for all his wisdom and high IQ score, his video iPod is still smarter than him.

He considers me phenomenal. And I suspect that if I let him tell me so ever so often, one day he'll actually convince me that it's true, when actually- he's the fucking SHYT!

And I love him to death!

*smooches...only for Jack today!*
it's a perfect day for getting old
forgetting all your worries
and everything that makes you cry
let's get happy!
it's a perfect day for dreams come true
for thinking big
and doing anything you want to do
let's get happy!