Hello, Old Friend.

It's been a while, no? Let's share a dance before we commence.



So, where have I been? How do I even begin to answer, when I barely know! I'm in the middle of an evolutionary growth spurt--that's how I can explain it best. My blog silence occurred because I'm struggling to understand changes around and within me, and how to continue sharing my story with this non-interactive audience. And if it is even worth it to do so.

When I launched this blog, it was to communicate with my loved ones. More and more, however, I'm finding value in the phone calls and face-to-face time with those same people; writing here felt redundant and unnecessary. Also, a lot of what I'm currently dealing with is of a private and delicate nature, pretty much "nunya," and some of it pretty negative. That's not the kind of energy I want to put out into the universe. Still, Jaded called to me daily. So here I am:

Unwell, confused, stressed, angry, tired, sad, but also loved, sought after, cared for, and with a lot left to say. Hopefully you're still here to read it all.

Game on!

*smooches...unable to quit you
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the feeling is mutual, yes?

Be Easy

The holidays can get crazy. Family WILL drive you crazy. Friends and their end-of-the-year happenings will make you crazy. Folks are out here mainlining capitalism + consumerism, capable of cutting your throat for the last doll-of-the-year left on the shelf. It's CRAZY.

I try not to get caught up because listen, ain't nobody got time for the bullshit. If the line at Target is down the block well then, shit, I'll come back another time. Besides, being a recovering Catholic means I can still claim to celebrate the Feast of the Three Kings and send out gifts late. Or just say "fuck it" and only give you a card for Christmas with lots of good cheer. FIGHT ME.

If you don't mind, I'll be over here, chillin', with a normal BP, eating grapes and watching cheesy holiday movies with my babies.



You're welcome to join us.

*smooches...while chillaxin in my jammies*
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I might also go swimming; the stress-free possibilities are endless

The Definition of Crazy

"What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop." -Meredith Grey, "Grey's Anatomy"

I understand a lot of what I do is to my own detriment. I also understand that it makes me insane. I accept that. But the pull to habitually be unhappy is strong. STRONG. Like, magnetically strong. Trying to do better is honestly the hardest thing I've ever attempted.

Now please excuse me while I hoover down a whole bag of "organic" popcorn.

*smooches...bedazzling my hammer while watching Netflix*
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I mean if I'm gonna beat myself with it, might as well make it cute.

"Fool For You" Dance Break

Even though I'm on a self-imposed man break, I miss the days when I was crushing on someone. Those honeymoon days, before you or s/he ruins the relationship, are so magical, you really do feel like you're floating on a cloud. Like nothing can touch you and your honey-bunny. Like there's nothing in the world you wouldn't do for them. Kind of how I feel for Netflix.

"Any mistake you make I, I just might forgive..."



Get into it!

*smooches...grooving deep in my seat*
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last time I saw Ms. Smith live she blew my mind; can't wait to go back!

Germaphobe?

(A conversation that transpired with a friend; we were discussing Terrence Howard's latest nuptials and why anyone would marry him so fast. I say money, friend says "dick too bomb." The thought of Terrence Howard's penis made my stomach turn...)

ME: Ewww. I imagine his dick is too yellow. Almost white. And white peen frightens me. It looks undercooked. Like I'm gonna get salmonella from it.

FRIEND: Let yourself out.

ME: *sigh* Fine

FRIEND: And for the record, light-skinned penis is great. They fuck like they have a point to prove.

ME: LMAO!

FRIEND: I've said too much.

*smooches...not too experienced with light-skinned penis*
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but please, feel free to share your tales of Yellow Snake Sex.