Memory Is Mostly Perception, No?

A bit ago Mari bought me this great book, Room to Write, and it has oh-so-many writing prompts to get your creative juices flowing. Of course, because I'm the awesome person I am, I decided to share its contents with you, hoping it will light a fire under your writer's block.
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Ever notice how you'll sit around reminiscing with friends and family about certain events and they look at you all funny and say, "That's not how it happened." Doesn't that just make you sit back and wonder if your whole life has been a lie because of your faulty memory skills? I mean, I've come to terms with my Swiss cheese brain (Kids: Just Say NO To Drugs!!) but it can still get pretty annoying.

This next exercise is geared towards accepting and deriving creativity from what you DON'T remember.
Goldberg suggests,

"Non-memories may involve parts of the past you have difficulty recalling [and] may include what has been absent from your life."

Ready? Play along with me...

Room To Write Activity #3: I Don't Remember

This time, begin with the phrase "I don't remember" and fill up a page...

I don't remember when it was that I got my first TV. I only know that it allowed me the freedom to disappear from what I considered to be an overbearing life. I could escape to the Eastland School for Girls or be a nurse during the Vietnam War or marvel at the luscious beauty of Sophia Loren during the late-night viewings of foreign films on Channel 13. I watched TV until programming would go off the air- back when television stations took a break from programming- with little-to-no regard for my mind and body's need of rest and relaxation. I watched The Mets play, I watched ABC Afterschool Specials, I gorged on Channel U68 for doses of Swan's Crossing, Degrassi Junior High or Video Music Box. This picture box became more important to me than family, schoolwork and sleep. I don't remember when this TV came into my life, but I can trace the downfall of my productivity and ability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships to its arrival.

See? Piece of cake! Now you try- leave it in the comments or keep it to yourself. Either way, happy writing!!

*smooches...hoping to inspire a writer or two today*
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wouldn't it be nice if we ALL got published? then we can be the snooty members of The Jaded Empire!

The Voices Present: Wednesday!

The things we think about when Jaded is asleep, busy with deadlines or otherwise occupied...

~You know who is a great writer? Joss Whedon. And not just because he was the mega-genius behind "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer," either. He wrote for "Roseanne" and if you enjoyed Disney/Pixar's "Toy Story" then guess what? You're a Joss Whedon fan.

~It's so easy to approach the dudes we don't really want aka The Unfuckables (homies, marrieds, gays). The ones we really like leave us dumbfounded, confused, insecure and fumbling for the right things to say.

~In other news, we don't like engaging with ugly dudes (gollums!) in the club, lest the cuties think we're already taken. We hate being bitches about it but DANG can you take three steps to the left so that the chocolate Adonis by the bar can see us?!

~The bar has been raised for Jaded's literary readings. Which is a fancy, roundabout way of saying she'll be charging admission now. It's a necessary evil since the venue charges a fee per hour. Stay tuned!

~We'd ALLLLLL like to be J. Cole's groupies. Now, someone lend us an age-reversal machine so we don't look like Madame Cougar Tasha Mack up in these streets.



~We watched "The Game" last night. In real time. On a TV! It was nice but what were those smaller, nonsensical 30-second shows they played in between scenes about cars and such? We were most confused.

~Jaded still wants another baby, y'all. We tried to talk her out of it but just the other day she was googling pregnancy after 35 n shit.

~Kevin Smith is alright with us. Even after "Jersey Girl" which actually wasn't as horrible as you think. We won't discuss "Cop Out," though. We just won't.

~One thing we learned so far this year: we're horrible at marketing and public relations for The Jaded Empire. Is there a Learning Annex class we can take to fix that?

~We have been uninspired lately. We think, quite unexpectedly, we're grieving for Monday Musings and everything it could have been and wasn't. Eventually we'll focus on other opportunities, but for now, we're grieving.

*smooches...loving this opportunity to shine*
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Jaded is so stingy with her brain AND her blog! she hardly ever lets us come out to play :)

Vedic Jaded, Part Deaux

Long ago and far away, I began to study Vedic meditation. For three months I spent 20 minutes each morning and on my evening commute on a journey to better health, happiness and interpersonal relationships. Then I allowed a bump in my schedule interrupt that journey.

A year and a half later, I'm a hot holy mess.

So of course when I got an email from the meditation center announcing a refresher course for those who've let go of their practice, I RSVPd. And in typical Jaded fashion, when the time came to go I tried to find excuses to stay home and skip it. But I'm not THAT person anymore. Well, I AM that person but I'm aware of how destructive that person is...or rather I've ALWAYS BEEN AWARE of how destructive that person is and am finally attempting to put my foot down with her. NO MAS.

I went. I meditated. I promised myself I'd continue for the next seven days and then check back in with the group. I have to do this like an addict- one day at a time- because I am one. I'm addicted to an unhealthy lifestyle that provides instant gratification but is destroying me in the long run. I've been on this drug practically my whole life and it will be an uphill struggle to break free.

But I don't want to die from a heart attack in my 50s because I never took care of my body. I don't want to really drink the Windex because I never took care of my mind. And I don't want to end up on the clock tower in downtown Brooklyn because I never took care of my soul.

So seven days. One day at a time. Twenty minutes in the morning and then again before dinner.

Dr. Drew would be so proud!

*smooches...getting all new-agey on your ass*
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you can't tell, but this is all part of my master plan to unplug more. Take THAT, SkyNet!

End Scene.

So remember when I said I'd be ending Monday Musings on the 31st because of Blog Talk Radio's new monthly fees? Well I lied. The show actually ended on December 20th. I hope you really enjoyed that episode because it was the very last Monday Musings EVER.

If you missed it, you can listen here.

Anyway, show's over. Move it along. Nothing more to see here.

But I feel like I owe you some entertainment:



There. Now we're all squared-up.

*smooches...happy and sad to see my show go*
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it was fun, but more work than it was worth. I'm surely not done with "radio" but for now, The Jaded Empire is moving on.

Inappropriate BBMs, Vol. 6

I don't know why people still engage in online conversations with me. I get that keyboard courage and it's all down hill from there. Actually, who am I kidding? I'd say this shit to your face and we both know it...

FRIEND: OMG, this lil' dude is a freak. Why is he sending me freaky text messages from the financial aid office?

ME: He's about to spend his entire refund check on you LMAO! SIDENOTE: I think I'll sign all my tweets, "Love & Balls, Jaded" from now on...

FRIEND: LMAO!!! I can't stand you for ALL of that!

ME: He gon make it rain on your vagina...

FRIEND: OK, I'm done. Dude just asked if I swallow. O_O Ni**a I don't KNOW. YOU!

ME: You don't like the taste of unknown pee-pee juice?

FRIEND: O_O LOG OFF!

*smooches...unsure of how and when I became so vulgar*
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I blame the media.