Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Learning To Not Be A Loner

First off- how is my blog family doing in the wake of Sandy? Check in if you can! Now, on to the show...

I want to take this time to apologize to each and every one of you if, in my funky-mood-induced tendency to isolate myself, I've ever made you feel as if I didn't need you around. Quite the opposite is true! But it was recently brought to my attention that while I'm busy hiding out and moping in my cubby, people who've been ignored and cast aside are feeling helpless, useless and insignificant. My bad!

See, when I'm feeling especially sad and miserable, my first thought is "I don't want to spread this around" and proceed to slowly pull away from social situations and put on my game face. Next, I mainly focus on just feeling bad- crying, cursing myself out, etc- so that I'm not suppressing anything that will later manifest itself in MORE physical ailments (I think we can agree I've had quite enough of that!). During this time, the last thing I want is to be around people and let them see me cry. OH MY GOD THE HORROR! Finally, I get to a point where I begin to formulate a solution to my problem, and that makes me feel better, which in turn makes me more able to be around people.

However this whole process might very well take two weeks, at least. And I do agree that expecting someone to wait two weeks without knowing what's going on can be a lot. Clearly, I need to work on my verbal communication skills!

Most importantly, I need to learn to let people in. I was already advised that giving folks the URL to this blog is NOT enough and DOES NOT COUNT as letting them in (side eye for The F$%K-It List) so I've made note that in the future I need to actually say the words, "I'm feeling crappy and I don't want to bring my dark clouds your way. Can we touch base in a couple of days?" Or something like that.

It will be tough and it will not happen overnight, but I will be working on that for the future. Promise. Allegedly.

*smooches...continuing my quest to be a grown up*
I hear they serve Buffalo wings in the green room at Grown Up Land; hope it's not a rumor!