Tuesday, June 01, 2010

I Put On For MY City (And Borough)

I would like to begin this post by thanking the bartender at Franklin Park for hooking me up with the bomb-ass Rhum Barbancourt which mellowed me out for the foolishness I was destined to witness on Saturday night. Otherwise, a certain out-of-towner would have brought out the neck-rolling, eye-cutting, thick-accent-having Dominicana from BedStuy in me instead of the educated & cultured one I worked so hard to become. To say it plainly- dude was testing me.

How? Easy. He was talking shit about, "I don't understand the allure of the city...how can you raise a family here?!" and all that jazz. Bitch, WHAT?! I know you're not talking about NEW YORK CITY right to my motherfucking face (is what I wanted to say...)!!!

He came at me after having oozed desperation (and some putrid B.O. from what I heard) at most of the females I was hanging with, complaining that he had this beautiful 4-BR house overlooking a lake in Maryland and it was perfect for a family that he wanted to have but just didn't understand why women (read: ME) are so hard-pressed to stay in big cities, namely NYC and more specifically, Brooklyn. *takes blood pressure medication* Clearly he was new to the Jaded Universe to be saying some shit like that to me.

Well, PATRICK, let me tell you why some women from big cities like myself choose to stay in big cities to raise their families. No, fuck it, let me tell you, PATRICK, why *I* am choosing to stay in this city and raise my family, and why the right man for me will feel the same way.

If I walk a few blocks from my house, I will run into an authentic Middle Eastern restaurant. Next door to that is a grocery store that sells imported Mexican food products. Three blocks from that is a pretty slamming Thai restaurant and if I take the B-35 all the way to Flatbush Ave I can have all the delicious West Indian delicacies (and Rasta eye candy) I desire.

If I want good deals on textiles and coats I can hit Williamsburg or Borough Park; Bensonhurst has this great little Italian place with some of the BEST and FRESHEST mozzarella cheese; and HELLO... CONEY ISLAND! Then I can cross the bridge and BAM- a smorgasbord of AWESOME awaits me: China Town, Little Italy, Little Brazil, Washington Heights, Astoria, Jamaica, City Island... Do you see what I'm getting at, dumbass?

My grandparents came to NYC and settled in Brooklyn, because even back on the Island everyone knows THIS is where IT'S at. The money's here. The opportunity is here. The WORLD is here. As a little girl growing up in BedStuy I had so many cultural experiences that I'm sure I'm forgetting most of them. Stuff like live jazz at Lincoln Center, the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes, sailing around Manhattan, seeing what felt like the entire Tri-State area from the top of the late, great Twin Towers.

Then there were the people I encountered everyday- Asians, Latinos, Caribbeans, Europeans; Catholics, Jews, Hari Krishnas, Buddhists- and all that they brought to this great city from their own great cities... I really, truly led a charmed life, and I didn't even realize it until I came across people in college who grew up in beautiful, quiet, 4-br homes overlooking a lake in places like Maryland, and didn't know SHIT about the world. My kids love this place as much as I do and they are getting the best of EVERY world by being raised and educated right here.

Let's also take into account the convenience of this City. Not only can I get whatever I want, I can get it at all hours of the day and night, seven days a week. When I tried to explain to you, PATRICK, that I don't like the thought of having to get into a car and drive 5-10 minutes to the local Wal-Mart just to get some milk, only to discover that the local Wal-Mart closes at 9PM on a Sunday, when I can just walk three blocks to On The Run and get that and a whole lot more, you had the audacity to ask, "Why do you need milk at that hour anyway?"

Motherfucker are you for real right now? BECAUSE THAT'S WHEN I GODDAMN WANT IT, THAT'S WHY!! And you know where I can get a carton of milk after 9PM on a Sunday night within 3 blocks of my house? Where sidewalks exist and cars are a luxury, not a necessity? Where kids (like mine) have the opportunity for a world class education? Where public transportation and taxicabs run 24 hours a day? Where you can hear ten different languages in the span of as many city blocks? Brooklyn, bitch!

And don't you EVER forget that shit. EVER!

*smooches...glad I saved my hostility for this blog rather than his face*
PS- PATRICK? I suspect that your attempt to throw your house on the lake in my face AND your failure to accept that fact that some of us are City Mice while others are Country Mice is the reason you're single. The end.