Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I'm A Little Bit Nosy, I'm A Little Bit Rock n Roll

When you see me walking towards the F-train on 23rd Street with my NY face on, I'm not usually thinking, "Move, bitch, get out the way." Sometimes I'm thinking, "You might as well speak up, bitch, I can't hear everything you just said."

You know what I'm talking about- all those bitches who take the phrase "outdoor voice" just a bit too literal, to the point where you might be tempted to weigh in on the discussion being forced down your ear canal.

Here are some of the golden nuggets I've had the (dis)pleasure of being privy to:

Woman on Lexington and 23rd: A real landlord would take a check, right?

Yes. Yes he would...as opposed to the fake landlords that take Spanish Doubloons. Those guys are wicked fake!

Ghetto Mama on Madison and 23rd: ...and I told him 2 broke females will not fuck you up...

...but the refurbished ones have at least 90 days from when the beef started to kick your ass.

NYU Tart in The Village: Say we're all vegan, right, wouldn't we just be taking all of their [the animals'] food?

We? Bitch, who is this "we" of which you speak? Now excuse me- you're blocking the entrance to McDonald's!

Heavy Metal Poser at Virgin Mega Store: This music today is ass! They just don't make guitar legends like [Marilyn Manson's] Daisy Berkowitz...

OMG! I just want Hendrix to rise up out of the ground and beat you senseless with Daisy's severed ARM!!!

*smooches...with too many outside voices competing with the indoor ones*
i wonder what you look like
under your t-shirt
i wonder what you sound like
when you're not wearing words
i wonder what we have
when we're not pretending
it is never ending
haven't you heard