"Several Herniated Discs": A Healthy Jaded Post

So the mystery behind all the ouchies in my back have been solved: all of my thoracic vertebrae have herniated discs. FUN, RIGHT? Right. So now I get to visit a physical therapist wherein I'll be told that I'm doing everything in my life incorrectly and that's why my back is fucked up. Or I'll get some exercises that will help alleviate the pain. Whatever. All I hear is CO-PAYS OUT THE YING-YANG UP IN THIS BITCH!!! Again, whatever. I have to see the PT, right?

Anyfucks, we cannot pinpoint what caused this so there's no point on harping on that. It's time to fix it as best I can and move on with my life, especially because this quack said it's okay for me to continue working out. BOOOOOO! (I'm lying, she's not a quack. She's a pretty awesome doctor, and coming from me you know that means a lot.)

But what I really want to address is, umm, the films from my MRI. I have questions.

It looks like the lizard baby from "V" right?

And now it has fangs!!!

If anyone reading this is or knows a radiologist, please help a sistah out because I'm not trying to be a host to some sort of angry alien being who's trying to take over the world through me. OH MY GOD WHAT IF THIS ALIEN CONTROLS THE VOICES?!?!?

SEND. HELP.

*smooches...not blaming WebMD for once*
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those films are mad suspect...