Considering that it's PMS Week at my house, my kids are getting on my last nerve AND I was not able to get my cajun fries this afternoon (can you believe the Dept. of Health shut down the Popeye's near my job?!) I think last night's show on dealing with toddlers, with Jack as co-host, went pretty well.
Except for the part where BTR shut off on me for no reason... WTH was that about? Damn computers... anyways, feel free to check out the archived segment here, and leave me a comment on the BTR blog. Gracias!!
Now on with the show:
WOO HOO... It's back: The World Baseball Classic!!
Last time I was a bit peeved with Team Dominican Republic, but it's been a couple of years, and just like I forgave Beltran for not scoring in the bottom of the ninth in that last game against Florida in 2007, I forgave my compadres for losing to Cuba in 2006.
In March the first round of games begin; Team DR will be playing The Netherlands in Puerto Rico and I kind of want to go. First off I've always wanted to visit PR and second... Helloooo, McFlyyyy... it's BASEBALL! I have to go down there waving my flag and root root root for my team. Yes, MY team. Team DR.
My beloved Johan Santana is playing in Toronto for Venezuela, unfortunately, because, you know, it's where he's from. But I decided I can see him play all next year at Citifield. So while I love Johan dearly, I will not be rooting for his team in the WBC.
And A-Rod. GRRRR! Only Minaya brings more bile to the back of my throat than when I think of Alex Rodriguez. Yes, he's a great ball player and humanitarian, blah blah, blah but I plumb don't like the dude (to read a more diplomatic post on A-Rod at the WBC, visit Jose Vilson's Blog). But UGH UGH UGH!!! He's decided to play for Team DR. So I have to actually clap for him when he does well. AAACK!!
Whatever, I can't let that come mierda ruin my plans... I want to go to Puerto Rico, with my babies and Papi, watch our team play in the first round, and then maybe take some pictures in Old San Juan.
I suppose the upside to that is that perhaps I'll get to meet Madonna at the stadium...
*smooches...experiencing beisbol fever in December*
----------
So... who's coming with me?!
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
HOT. GHETTO. MESS. (Revisited)
It was awesome taking a few days off last week- four day weekends ROCK.
However, it's not like I was on the couch in a pair of spandex capris and high healed Candies eating bonbons watching John Cusack movies. Nope. I had some shit to DO.
Like, did I mention I opened my big-ass mouth and decided I wanted to host Christmas? In my lil apartment? Right. So of course, I have to clean it. And some of you are like "Okay, so what's the problem?"
THIS:
...is the problem. Look at that shit! My room is where laundry goes to die. I'm seriously thinking that maybe the apartment isn't that small after all, it's just all this SHIT I have out and about. And don't even get me started about the calls from FEMA that I've been dodging...
I'm so disgusted with myself that I let it get that bad again. I'm telling you, man, this faux-depression has me by the throat for real because I've not been caring about the cleanliness of my apartment for a hot minute now.
But thanks to a few days off, everything is looking much better, namely about FIVE loads of laundry are off my to-do list. And while it's only made a small dent in the disaster zone that is my apartment, the April Fresh Scent that lingers in the air reminds me that slow and steady wins the race.
My apartment will be more than ready to receive guests on the 25th. Stay tuned!
AND DON'T FORGET:
Monday Musings is on like popcorn tonight, and Jack is back, baby! The topic... Child Rearing 101: Our Toddler Just Ate The Remote... And Other Issues.
Basically, we're going to try and help you get through the Terrible Two's, Three's and Four's in the little time we have. Things like discipline, potty training and all that good stuff.
You're probably wondering why I'm qualified to tell you how to handle your kids. Well let me put it like this- I have ZERO patience at all, especially when it comes to kids, but somehow my babies were not mysteriously killed in their sleep at age three. Clearly I know how to handle those little buggers, especially since mine are particularly smart, well-behaved, witty, independent and creative thinkers, so you need to listen to me. Really.
If you have a (soon-to-be) toddler that's driving you up the wall, by all means, tune in!
*smooches...excited to have Jack back on the air*
----------
and did I mention my dear sweet babycakes is in town soon? I may have to lift my alcohol ban for just that one night...
However, it's not like I was on the couch in a pair of spandex capris and high healed Candies eating bonbons watching John Cusack movies. Nope. I had some shit to DO.
Like, did I mention I opened my big-ass mouth and decided I wanted to host Christmas? In my lil apartment? Right. So of course, I have to clean it. And some of you are like "Okay, so what's the problem?"
THIS:
...is the problem. Look at that shit! My room is where laundry goes to die. I'm seriously thinking that maybe the apartment isn't that small after all, it's just all this SHIT I have out and about. And don't even get me started about the calls from FEMA that I've been dodging...
I'm so disgusted with myself that I let it get that bad again. I'm telling you, man, this faux-depression has me by the throat for real because I've not been caring about the cleanliness of my apartment for a hot minute now.
But thanks to a few days off, everything is looking much better, namely about FIVE loads of laundry are off my to-do list. And while it's only made a small dent in the disaster zone that is my apartment, the April Fresh Scent that lingers in the air reminds me that slow and steady wins the race.
My apartment will be more than ready to receive guests on the 25th. Stay tuned!
AND DON'T FORGET:
Monday Musings is on like popcorn tonight, and Jack is back, baby! The topic... Child Rearing 101: Our Toddler Just Ate The Remote... And Other Issues.
Basically, we're going to try and help you get through the Terrible Two's, Three's and Four's in the little time we have. Things like discipline, potty training and all that good stuff.
You're probably wondering why I'm qualified to tell you how to handle your kids. Well let me put it like this- I have ZERO patience at all, especially when it comes to kids, but somehow my babies were not mysteriously killed in their sleep at age three. Clearly I know how to handle those little buggers, especially since mine are particularly smart, well-behaved, witty, independent and creative thinkers, so you need to listen to me. Really.
If you have a (soon-to-be) toddler that's driving you up the wall, by all means, tune in!
*smooches...excited to have Jack back on the air*
----------
and did I mention my dear sweet babycakes is in town soon? I may have to lift my alcohol ban for just that one night...
Friday, December 12, 2008
A Case Of Wantin' And Not Gettin': The Renter's Lament
Let me make this clear: as far as apartments go in Brooklyn, my apartment is awesome. Small, but awesome.
It is in a relatively safe neighborhood within a great school district and just minutes to Prospect Park and the Brooklyn Museum... what I affectionately call "The Slums of Park Slope."
My girls love it here; it's quiet (except for the occasional murderous yell from my landlord to/from his wife) and clean (except right now the apartment next door is under construction and there's crap everywhere) and pest-free, which in and of itself makes the place completely enviable.
True, there are some issues: I don't have adequate closet space or a living room area, and the windows are poorly insulated. My floors creak and two of the burners on my stove don't work. The bathroom door doesn't close all the way and the knob on my closet is broken. My sofa is so big that the front door doesn't open all the way and I'm pretty sure that's a fire hazard. We also have no fire escape, but I totally plan on buying one of those escape ladders I've seen at the hardware store because I'm only one story up... if need be I could totally jump and not get hurt. I have escape plans. Trust. You don't talk this much shit about the government and NOT have an exit strategy.
And yes, the babies stay bumping into the walls and the furniture because they have quickly become all legs and arms without the coordination to control them all. Puberty has made them clumsy as all hell. Every time one of them turns the corner, all I hear is "OUCH!" They need more space.
But my apartment is awesome. Really. I can manage the rent just fine (now... this wasn't always the case as you very well know LOL) and the utilities are super low. I like the cozy feel of it and my bedroom is a great size- I can fit a queen-sized bed AND a papasan chair. Heaven.
However... the babies are just getting bigger. Not only are they outgrowing the apartment, they are outgrowing their tiny bedroom and, more importantly, they are outgrowing each other. THEY. NEED. MORE. SPACE.
I say all this as a long-winded way to complain about the 3BR apartment that is available just two houses down from me that I cannot afford because the rent is $1,000 more than I pay now.
I want that apartment almost as much as I want a DPhil from Oxford in English Literature. Almost as much as I want to turn Oprah down when she selects my book for her book club (just to be difficult!). Almost as much as I want to bitch-slap Omar Minaya in a dark alley in Queens.
I want that apartment and am just sick to my stomach that I cannot have it.
*smooches...resolved to spend the weekend throwing tantrums and pouting*
----------
I will also spend the weekend in Queens with my mami whining to her about my apartment woes.
Then on Sunday I'm going to a poetry open mic at the Queens Central Library; if you're in the area, stop on by and listen to me nervously recite some really bad poems!
It is in a relatively safe neighborhood within a great school district and just minutes to Prospect Park and the Brooklyn Museum... what I affectionately call "The Slums of Park Slope."
My girls love it here; it's quiet (except for the occasional murderous yell from my landlord to/from his wife) and clean (except right now the apartment next door is under construction and there's crap everywhere) and pest-free, which in and of itself makes the place completely enviable.
True, there are some issues: I don't have adequate closet space or a living room area, and the windows are poorly insulated. My floors creak and two of the burners on my stove don't work. The bathroom door doesn't close all the way and the knob on my closet is broken. My sofa is so big that the front door doesn't open all the way and I'm pretty sure that's a fire hazard. We also have no fire escape, but I totally plan on buying one of those escape ladders I've seen at the hardware store because I'm only one story up... if need be I could totally jump and not get hurt. I have escape plans. Trust. You don't talk this much shit about the government and NOT have an exit strategy.
And yes, the babies stay bumping into the walls and the furniture because they have quickly become all legs and arms without the coordination to control them all. Puberty has made them clumsy as all hell. Every time one of them turns the corner, all I hear is "OUCH!" They need more space.
But my apartment is awesome. Really. I can manage the rent just fine (now... this wasn't always the case as you very well know LOL) and the utilities are super low. I like the cozy feel of it and my bedroom is a great size- I can fit a queen-sized bed AND a papasan chair. Heaven.
However... the babies are just getting bigger. Not only are they outgrowing the apartment, they are outgrowing their tiny bedroom and, more importantly, they are outgrowing each other. THEY. NEED. MORE. SPACE.
I say all this as a long-winded way to complain about the 3BR apartment that is available just two houses down from me that I cannot afford because the rent is $1,000 more than I pay now.
I want that apartment almost as much as I want a DPhil from Oxford in English Literature. Almost as much as I want to turn Oprah down when she selects my book for her book club (just to be difficult!). Almost as much as I want to bitch-slap Omar Minaya in a dark alley in Queens.
I want that apartment and am just sick to my stomach that I cannot have it.
*smooches...resolved to spend the weekend throwing tantrums and pouting*
----------
I will also spend the weekend in Queens with my mami whining to her about my apartment woes.
Then on Sunday I'm going to a poetry open mic at the Queens Central Library; if you're in the area, stop on by and listen to me nervously recite some really bad poems!
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
Join The Impact
Did you miss my show again?!?! You know, it's getting real hard to forgive you week after week, especially when I bring on all these lovely guest hosts to discuss very current and relevant and just AWESOME issues, like Interracial Dating. So BOOO to you for missing out.
That said, check out the archive of the show on Blog Talk Radio.
And let me tell you, you're really going to be mad you didn't tune in because my girl Muireann does have a wicked awesome British accent. And you missed it. Double BOOO to you.
---------------
And now on to the post:
---------------
I saw this via a Twitter post by Twanna (Funky Brown Chick) and just had to share.
Please, join the impact... Tomorrow (December 10th)is Day Without A Gay, and while I can't take the day off (because I'm already off on Thursday and Friday... FOUR DAY WEEKEND, BITCHEZZZZZZZ) it tickles me lavender to think of the look on my boss's face if I were to call in "gay."
I do, however, plan on participating in as many of the other forms of protest as I can.
Won't you join me??
*smooches...loving Jack Black as a fat Jesus*
-----------
and now, all of a sudden, I'm craving a shrimp cocktail, a Doogie Hauser, MD mini-marathon and some man-on-man porn... who's with me?!
That said, check out the archive of the show on Blog Talk Radio.
And let me tell you, you're really going to be mad you didn't tune in because my girl Muireann does have a wicked awesome British accent. And you missed it. Double BOOO to you.
---------------
And now on to the post:
---------------
I saw this via a Twitter post by Twanna (Funky Brown Chick) and just had to share.
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
Please, join the impact... Tomorrow (December 10th)is Day Without A Gay, and while I can't take the day off (because I'm already off on Thursday and Friday... FOUR DAY WEEKEND, BITCHEZZZZZZZ) it tickles me lavender to think of the look on my boss's face if I were to call in "gay."
I do, however, plan on participating in as many of the other forms of protest as I can.
Won't you join me??
*smooches...loving Jack Black as a fat Jesus*
-----------
and now, all of a sudden, I'm craving a shrimp cocktail, a Doogie Hauser, MD mini-marathon and some man-on-man porn... who's with me?!
Monday, December 08, 2008
I Only Have One Thing To Tell You Today...
I had the faux-flu so my weekend was kind of low key. Well, not on Twitter, but in general it was low key.
So all I have to say to you today is you need to tune in to Monday Musings w/The Jaded NYer & Friends because tonight, Muireann, my sister from a white mother and author of the blog Bangs and a Bun is guest hosting my segment on Interracial Dating, and if you love her brand of comedy and mine, you know this segment will not disappoint.
Plus, I can almost guarantee that she has a wicked awesome British accent and I'm all giddy because by 10PM tonight I'll get to hear it. WOO HOO!
Oh, yeah, and we might talk some serious shit for like a minute, too, but I wouldn't count on it.
As usual, the chat room is THE place to be; it's where all the cool kids hang out and pretty much act a fool, but I encourage you all to call in, too. We'd love to hear from you...
Until then....
*smooches...staying on the blogger DL this week*
----------
I don't really have much to talk about right now. Unless... do you want to see pictures of my food baby belly? 'Cause I already sent one to Jack and I have no qualms about sending one to all of you. I'm about 5mos along... it's the cutest belly EVER...
So all I have to say to you today is you need to tune in to Monday Musings w/The Jaded NYer & Friends because tonight, Muireann, my sister from a white mother and author of the blog Bangs and a Bun is guest hosting my segment on Interracial Dating, and if you love her brand of comedy and mine, you know this segment will not disappoint.
Plus, I can almost guarantee that she has a wicked awesome British accent and I'm all giddy because by 10PM tonight I'll get to hear it. WOO HOO!
Oh, yeah, and we might talk some serious shit for like a minute, too, but I wouldn't count on it.
As usual, the chat room is THE place to be; it's where all the cool kids hang out and pretty much act a fool, but I encourage you all to call in, too. We'd love to hear from you...
Until then....
*smooches...staying on the blogger DL this week*
----------
I don't really have much to talk about right now. Unless... do you want to see pictures of my food baby belly? 'Cause I already sent one to Jack and I have no qualms about sending one to all of you. I'm about 5mos along... it's the cutest belly EVER...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
