Wednesday, January 24, 2007

The Jaded NYer Goes West

Miss me? Wondering where I've been? Crying into your cereal over the lack of "updates" in your inbox?

Cry no more! I'm back and have I got a tale for you...

The Jaded NYer made her 2nd annual trip to LA for the birthday of a very close friend, L. Most of you will recall that on last year's visit, I made a "new" friend...the naked kind...

Well this year I decided to just hang out with L- it was her weekend, her birthday, and how shady would it look to hook up with someone every time I go visit her!

My flight over there was uneventful: I had a layover in Chi-town and was offered free CDs and DVDs by the proprietor of a record shop in the airport because, as he put it, I was "the most beautiful woman" he'd seen all week. Whateva, man. I promptly left the store and bought a burrito.

In LA, L and I proceeded to Empanada Place and gobbled down 2 empanada's each. Afterwards we drove to the "hood" and ate some Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits...and had to scarf our food down when a homeless man came in and started acting a fool. I was scared for my life!

We finally get to her beautiful Beverly Hills apartment and look for something to do that night. We check online and find this cool looking bar/lounge, Carbon. No cover and a DJ spinning some hip-hop and R&B. When we show up, the spot is this shady-ass looking place where we had to literally HUNT for the door to get in, and when we get in...the place is literally the size of my living room. And if you've never been to my house, let me tell you- it's SMALL!! We just had to laugh and the sheer ridiculousness of that place! And the bartender had the greasiest, nastiest looking surfer hair...and h kept shaking it out...I think something from his hair fell into my watered down scotch and soda but I'm not sure...

Needless to say we booked it out of there and went to Pancho's, a Mexican place L likes out on Manhattan Beach. It was hella fun! There was a life band, margaritas, chips and guac, and drunk white girls struggling to keep the beat on the dance floor. High comedy! The highlight of the night had to be the bassist of the band- a cross between Al Sharpton and Barry White- who made up a lot of his own lyrics, ate chips while playing his bass and stopped in the middle of a song to point and laugh at the drunk, white girls struggling to keep the beat on the dance floor.

L was twisted by the end of the night and we made it home by the grace of god! but not before we made asses of ourselves in Walgreen's...

Saturday morning we went to her job- some diversity fair they were having- and then I got my hair done in Inglewood (again- the hood). The gossip was too funny, and the hair weaves were flowin'. We ate some Wendy's and then went shopping for the cocktail party I was hosting for L's birthday. We picked up some stuff to make margaritas and some snacks and then booked it home to get dressed. After all that out-of-control eating I looked like a stuffed sausage in my dress, and L was not far behind. For the dinner out, we changed into jeans. About 14 of us went to El Torito for MORE margaritas and Mexican food (if you go, get the chicken taquitos and the medium guac- AWESOME!).

Then it was back to her apartment to change into our sausage casings and head out to the Rumba Room at Universal City to shake what our mommas gave us (some more than others...). We saw some up-and-coming actor (forgot his name already...I blame the margaritas!) hounded by a photog, and I think he got us in the shot. Look for us on Page 6!!

While packing for the trip I had made the mistake of thinking that I could pull off a pair of 4" shoes half a size too small...TO GO DANCING. My toes were ON FIRE, as if someone had LITERALLY taken some matches and lit my feet up. The pain eventually shot up my leg- it was serious. I thought I was going to have to get my legs amputated! And no amount of guys hitting on me could get my mind off the fact that with every passing minute I was losing another toe.

Let's just say thank god that LA clubs close at 2AM!!

Sunday was a chill day- we walked around and had brunch at The Grove, saw a HORRIBLE movie at the Century City mall (Children of Men- DO NOT go see it...) and then ate dinner at this great Cuban restaurant, Versailles.

My toes were still aflame.

It was, all in all, enough fun to last me until my birthday...IN VEGAS!!!
...stay tuned!

*smooches...with my toes STILL AFLAME*
'cuz i'm a pixie
i'm a paper doll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give