I'm Not As Hardcore As I Thought

I often joke about how much acid I've done (true story!) or how much I drink and smoke weed, but I guess it takes seeing someone drinking from sun up to sun down to realize what an amateur I am.

I only drink until I get a light buzz. Very rarely am I falling over myself or making out with strangers. If I end up with my tongue down someone's throat, I never blame the alcohol 'cause usually that shyt is intentional. Bottom line? I ALWAYS have my wits about me.

And maybe I'm getting old or maybe I'm finally accepting the fact that there are two little girls looking at me to see how they should behave, but my tolerance level for such hedonistic behavior has dwindled...A LOT.

Honestly, I'm not one to judge (because according to my mom only god can do that) but DAMN! It's hard to be the sober one in a room full of drunken idiots. And I'm not better than anyone else- I, too, have my vices (hi, french fries!)- but DAMN! It's hard to be the only sober one in a room full of drunken idiots.

And yes, I love a good party, and I love to stay out late and laugh and dance and enjoy life, but OK, I'm gonna use my judgemental voice for ONE SENTENCE: DAMN! Have you never heard of drinking water? Good god almighty!!!

*smooches...not very fond of alcohol right now*
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Decisiones, cada día.
Alguien pierde, alguien gana
¡Ave María!
Decisiones, todo cuesta (Persígnate).
Salgan y hagan sus apuestas,
¡Ciudadanía!

Today's Bi-Polarity Brought to You By Rediscovered Music

Just yesterday I was in a serious funk (again) because of work, my abuelo and Cablevision so RUDELY canceling my internet service.

But when I got home, I felt a little different, a little more mellow and relaxed. I don't know what exactly corrected my funk, but I figured it had to be a combination of:

a nice evening out with someone new
my babies home for good again
four free tickets to see Sean Paul next month
my Gloria Estefan interview/article
Labor Day Weekend in Montauk w/ family and friends

Then this afternoon, though, I realized what it was. I rediscovered, and uploaded to my iTunes, some CDs I hadn't listened to in a hot minute: Shakira's "Pies Descalzos" and some mixes that a good friend made for me while I did my stint at Waco, plus a couple of new ones I bought. That's right, bought. I may watch cable shows illegally online, but I'll be damned if I get pinched for stealing music!

Click here for a playlist and video footage of what I now consider my Get Happy Mix. I hope it makes you happy, too!

*smooches...so happy, I might just puke butterflies*
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I don't think I ever really knew
I don't think I ever really saw
I don't think I ever really felt
I don't think I ever, ever
How deep is your love?

Diversionary Tactics

I haven't really thought about DR in a hot minute, and then this morning my mom tells me she might have to fly out there this fall because Abuelo is in kidney failure. Kidney-fucking-failure, people. Serious shit. I really don't want to think about it...all my elders are falling apart, and I'm not mature enough to handle that right now.

Ya'll might think of DR as a great vacation spot with hot resorts and yummy food, but to me it will always be the place that killed grandma. And now it's gunning after Abuelo.

So...feeling a little nostalgic and homesick for a place I've only visited three times in my whole life, I read through my enormous backlog of news wire notices from DR...I'm on a list...don't ask.

These three items brought a slight smile to my face:

1,600 MW in renewable energy

Investment opportunities valued at US$2 billion are awaiting the implementation of the Renewable Energy Investment and Incentives law, which is being prepared by the National Commission of Energy (CNE). Alternative energy projects aimed at providing an additional 1,600 MW of energy are planned for the DR. Aristides Fernandez Zucco, president of the National Energy Council, says that the rulings should be ready by mid-September.

Fernandez Zucco, quoted in Listin Diario, said that by the end of the year construction of solar and wind power projects would begin to provide 600 MW of energy for the Dominican grid. These 600 MW will save the country US$400 million per year. Fernandez Zucco says that by next year further installations aimed at providing another 1,000 MW will begin construction.

Fernandez Zucco also pointed out that the DR has the potential of producing 10,000 MW in wind energy and that in 15 years the country could generate 20% of its energy from alternative or renewable sources.

He was speaking during a Workshop on Alternative Energy Planning, organized by the Ministry of Environment and the National Energy Commission (CNE).


Dominican mountain climbers

Four Dominicans are climbing some of the world's highest mountains. Ruben Torres, Luis Manuel Gonzalez, Ivan Gomez and Federico Jovine are on the third trek of their mountain climbing agenda, with a Crowning Europe 2007 expedition.

In 2005 the hikers climbed Monte Kilimanjaro and Mount Kenya in Africa, in 2006 they climbed Cerro Aconcagua, the highest mountain in the Americas, located in Argentina. This year, they will climb the 6,000 meters of the Mont Elbrus in Russia.

At the top, the hikers will place the Dominican flag.


Haiti and DR doctors work together

The Dominican Medical Association reported on a meeting with Haitian colleagues where they discussed working together on programs to eradicate HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis, malaria, filariasis and other common medical issues, as reported in Diario Libre.

Haitian Health Minister Robert August visited the DR yesterday and stressed the importance of health issues being dealt with by both countries adopting joint measures.

Cristina Nogueira, representative of the Pan American Health Organization, highlighted how the meeting between Dominican and Haitian governmental and private medical authorities is important for drawing up common policies to tackle these diseases.

*smooches...seriously un-fond of death*
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Ojalá el otoño en vez de hojas secas
vista mi cosecha e' pitisalé.
Sembra' una llanura de batata y fresas,
ojalá que llueva café.

The Side Effects of Capitalism

I don't want to sound like an old, racist white man, but I am absolutely SICK and TIRED of having to speaking with foreigners whenever I have to deal with Dell, MacAfee, or Adobe customer service.

I'm sorry, but the accents are thick as hell and hard to comprehend.

I live in NY and I've dealt with people from all walks of life before, but when I need help with certain technological equipment or software, the last thing I need is a rep from New Delhi who just learned English a week ago explaining to me the intricacies of my wack-ass computer.

There. I said it.

Because it needed to be said!

*smooches...*

Olive Branch, Extended Via MySpace

Knock it if you'd like, but since I returned to myspace this year (or was it last year?) I have reconnected with no less than SEVEN lost friends and relatives: four friends from college and three cousins that I lost touch with when I left Brooklyn in 1993. So it's not just for pedophiles and baby prostitutes; sometimes it's for finding the ones you didn't even know you were looking for until you get that friend request and realize...DAMN! Where have you been? I've MISSED you!!

This weekend I *finally* got back in touch with a cousin from the Penzo side that I hadn't heard from- or about- since were were kids. I felt like he was some dirty little secret we weren't supposed to talk about, but nobody would tell me why. It wasn't so much like he fell off the face of the earth, it was more like they pushed him! And of course, nosy bird that I am, that made me want to know where he was more than anything.

This weekend he sent me that friend request, and at first I was like, "Who da fuck..." and then after careful inspection of his page I realized...my long lost dear cousin!

If you're not familiar with myspace, let me explain that once you've added a new person to your friend list, it is then customary to go through their page, pics, etc, and check out who they have on THEIR friend list. So I'm going through Primo's page and there it is...the page I didn't know I DIDN'T want to find until I actually found it.

My brother.

Readers, last year I was supposed to attend his HS graduation and I flaked at the last minute. I'm not particularly proud of that, but I did it. I've always prided myself in the kind of person who'd never make a promise to a kid and not keep it- it then ruins their ability to trust as adults- but in this case I was a total scaredy-cat and hypocrite. And of course, in true scaredy-cat fashion, I never called him back to explain why, or to make other arrangements. And I've felt so bad ever since.

Truth is, ya'll already know I want nothing to do with my biological father, and that was a big part of why I made excuses to get out of the graduation. Actually, it was THE reason I didn't go. I didn't want to sit in the same row with that man and act like some happy family. Selfish of me, I know.

But my girls are curious about their family, their entire family, and it seems kind of unfair that I should enforce my non-William policy on them. It's too late for any reconciliation with me, I've already accepted that, but K and N had nothing to do with any of this estrangement. It's time I swallowed my pride and just ended this ridiculousness already.

So I sent my brother a message via myspace, placing the ball in his court, letting him know that I want to talk. A slightly less scaredy-cat approach than not talking to him at all.

It feels weird to type that: my brother. I wonder if this will turn out for the best?




*smooches...getting back on my inner peace track*
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I don't regret this life I chose for me.
But these places and these faces are getting old,
So I'm going home.