A Ho is a Ho is a Ho

This Imus bullshit is getting out of control. And who's spinning it out of control within an inch of its 5 minutes of fame? Yep, my favorite Black Man, Al-Fucking-Sharpton.

The bile that rises to my throat when I hear his name, see it in print or have to see in bloated face in the news is indescribable. Al Sharpton is the boil on society's ass. We need him lanced. Like yesterday.

So in case you don't know what's going on, Imus (a NYC radio personality known for his "acid tongue") said something he thought was funny on the air. Here's the story:

Imus says he'll check his acid tongue By MARCUS
FRANKLIN, Associated Press Writer

NEW YORK - Calling himself a good person who said a bad thing, radio host Don Imus said Monday he would check his acid tongue after being lambasted for making racially charged comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team.

"Here's what I've learned: that you can't make fun of everybody, because some people don't deserve it," he said on his nationally syndicated radio show Monday morning. "And because the climate on this program has been what it's been for 30 years doesn't mean it's going to be what it's been for the next five years or whatever."
Imus said he was "embarrassed" by the remarks, in which he referred to the mostly black team as "nappy-headed hos." He said he had made the comments in the course of "trying to be funny," but he was not trying to excuse them.

"I'm not a bad person. I'm a good person, but I said a bad thing. But
these young women deserve to know it was not said with malice," he said.

He pointed to his involvement with the Imus Ranch, a cattle farm for
children with cancer and blood disorders in Ribera, N.M. Ten percent of the children who come to the ranch are black, he added.

"I'm not a white man who doesn't know any African-Americans," he said.

Imus said he hoped to meet the Rutgers players and their parents and coaches, and he said he was grateful that he was scheduled to appear later Monday on a radio show hosted by the Rev. Al Sharpton, who has called for Imus to be fired over the remarks.

"It's not going to be easy, but I'm not looking for it to be easy," Imus
said.

Sharpton has said he wants Imus fired and that he intends to
complain to the Federal Communications Commission about the matter.

"Somewhere we must draw the line in what is tolerable in mainstream
media," Sharpton said Sunday. "We cannot keep going through offending us and then apologizing and then acting like it never happened. Somewhere we've got to stop this."

Meanwhile, the Rev. Jesse Jackson planned a protest in Chicago, and an NAACP official called for the broadcaster's resignation or firing.

Imus made the now infamous remark during his show Wednesday.

The Rutgers team, which includes eight black women, had lost the day
before in the NCAA women's championship game. Imus was speaking with producer

Bernard McGuirk about the game when the exchange began on "Imus in the Morning," which is broadcast to millions of people on more than 70 stations and MSNBC.

"That's some rough girls from Rutgers," Imus said. "Man, they got
tattoos..."

"Some hardcore hos," McGuirk said.

"That's some nappy-headed hos there, I'm going to tell you that," Imus said.

Imus also apologized on the air Friday, but his mea culpa has not quieted the uproar.

Jackson said his RainbowPUSH Coalition planned to protest Monday in Chicago outside the offices of NBC, which owns MSNBC. Jackson said protests were being planned across the country.

James E. Harris, president of the New Jersey chapter of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, demanded Sunday that Imus "resign or be terminated immediately."

Allison Gollust, a spokeswoman for MSNBC, said the network considers
Imus' comments "deplorable" and is reviewing the matter.

Karen Mateo, a spokeswoman for CBS Radio — Imus' employer and the owner of his New York radio home, WFAN-AM — said the company was "disappointed" in Imus' actions and characterized his comments as "completely inappropriate."

So he called some basketball players nappy-headed hos. So what? How do we know they ain't hos? And come on- I'm sure 95% got some nappy heads on them. Those braids and relaxers ain't foolin' me.

Why is this such a big deal? If Dave Chappelle had said it, we'd be laughing our asses off. But Imus says it and that's it- he must answer to the PC police?

Give me a fucking break and get over yourself, Al. This is just another ploy to keep your name out there and attempt to get the black vote...on whatever it is you're running for lately. Please just give up. NOBODY LIKES YOU. WE ALL LAUGH AT YOU. JUST GO SOMEWHERE AND STAY THERE!!!!!

Here's the thing, I probably wouldn't be on Imus' side if Al Fart-head weren't involved. But everything that man touches turns to shit in my eyes! I might be angry at this old white man making fun of black girls just for kicks, but thanks to Al, I'm just disgusted with the media attention.

But on the other hand- and this is where being a Gemini is a real detriment- why is everything sacred all of a sudden? The slightest off-color remark can send people off the chart these days. When did we all get so sensitive? Why can't we call a ho a ho??

*smooches...with my nappy, ho-ish ways*
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its been way too long since i've been behind the wheel

headlights guiding me right through the dark i feel

dry eyed, trying hard to resist

sleeps first kiss

everytime i have time to think

i think of this

Justification For My Doctor Phobia

All I can say is EWWWWWWW!!!

Dentist guilty of urinating in surgery sink
Thu Apr 5, 2007 11:33am ET

LONDON (Reuters) - A British dentist was found guilty Thursday of urinating in his surgery sink and using dental tools meant for patients to clean his fingernails and ears.

A medical tribunal said it was satisfied the evidence showed 51-year-old Alan Hutchinson, who "routinely" did not wear gloves or wash his hands, had risked the health of "himself, staff and patients" for more than 28 years.

A dental nurse who worked for Hutchinson for 16 years said she had caught him urinating in the sink more than once.

"He was tucking something into his trousers before zipping them up hastily. I walked over and I was behind him. He moved to the left and I could smell urine," the nurse told the tribunal.

A later hearing will decide if the dentist's unhygienic habits impaired his ability to treat patients, and if so, whether he should banned from practicing.

What is there to discuss? YES!! OF COURSE HE SHOULD BE BANNED FROM PRACTICING MEDICINE...disgusting ass mo-fo!! No wonder Brits have such nah-stee teeth!

*smooches...fresh from the dentist...NOT!*
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science chases money
and money chases its tail
and the best minds of my generation
can't make bail

There's Always a Catch...

After the date from hell with Shortie Lazy Eye (SLE), I almost canceled another date I had scheduled for last night with another gentleman from the same site where I met SLE. I mean, after that disaster, and the fact that Burger King did not have the chicken fries I was so craving to soothe my troubled soul and the Mexican place by me got my order wrong, I was convinced it was time to throw in the towel.

Luckily for Wednesday night's date, Mr. DJ, Google had offered me this lovely H. G. Wells gem as a quote for the day:

"If you fell down yesterday, stand up today."

So I kept the date.

And wouldn't you know it? Mostly everything went well. Mr. DJ was as described (matched his photo, fit, tall, smart, interesting) and we had the best time, even made plans for the weekend. Our conversation did not have that awkward quiet moment where you hear crickets chirping and pins dropping, and he showed interest in more than the fact that I'm beautiful- I'm getting so tired of hearing that.

And I'm not trying to be conceited or anything. All my life I've tried to stress my book smarts because I don't want to be judged on looks alone. I used to wear large, baggy clothes to hide my figure; wore no make-up until recently; sported ponytails like it was my job; all in an effort to not be just another pretty face in the crowd. It's partly why I tack on so many degrees after my name and why I long for my doctorate...like Joan Collins said: "Beauty is like being born rich and getting poorer." Who wants to deal with that shit...but I digress.

But of course, as is my lot in life, Mr. DJ was not without his flaws. Are ya'll ready for this one? Ya'll ain't ready...

He's Haitian.

Yes. His ancestors are from the very place that incites murderous tendencies from my lovely grandfathers: one a former military police officer and the other a member of the "militia" that participated in the terrorizing of Haitians in DR back in the day. Neither one of which is willing to let the grudge go.

So I finally meet someone from cyberspace that I feel I could really mesh with, have intelligent, literary conversations with, analyse and scrutinize pop culture with, and sadly, if it works out I'll never be able to bring him home or I'll have to lie about his heritage to my family. And something tells me that would not be cool with him. I know it wouldn't be cool with me if the tables were turned.

I swear, Karma has a hard on for me! That BI-ATCH!!!

*smooches...with a potential love interest from...St. Lucia, yeah, that's the ticket!*
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sometimes i see myself
through the eyes of a stray dog
from an alley across the street
and my whole mission just seems so finite
my whole saga just seems so cheap

Jaded to the CORE!!!

When did it become a bad thing to show up to a first date with a gift and shower the other person with compliments? No, really, I'm asking, because that's exactly what my date did last night and it ANNOYED me to the point that I wanted to punch him in his face.

Let me see if I can lay out the entire situation for you so it will be clear.

I met this guy for a drink. I met him through a myspace-type site. I tried to give up meeting people online but lets face it- I don't have time to meet people any other way. I'm over-extended and always in a rush. That said, in his photo he looked okay. We exchanged a few notes and he seemed nice, intelligent, blah blah blah.

At the lounge, one of those after work, happy hour hells that I LOATHE, he's waiting for me by the bar...and he's short. Strike one. Not short like 5'4" short, but too short for my 6' height requirement. He's like 5'10" if he stands REALLY STRAIGHT. That dampened my spirits from jump.

Next, when we sat down, I think I noticed a lazy eye. Strike two. Stop laughing, I'm serious. But I was afraid to look right at it in case it was lazy...I didn't want my face to reveal my horror and disgust.

Then he hands me a gift bag with a bottle of perfume. Nice? No. Foul Ball. The bag was probably not from the store where he bought it, if he bought it, and there was no tissue or ribbon. Just a box inside a bag. Kind of like it was a gift he had left over from Christmas. You know, the type of gift someone gave you who didn't really know you...and he tried to pass it on to me, foolishly thinking that A) I'd be flattered and grateful for a re-gifted perfume bottle, B) I'd be impressed that it was a Dolce & Gabbana scent and C) I wear perfume...because I don't.

The final nail in the coffin had to be that his confidence level was lower than mine, and that is not cute. He admitted to being nervous because I was so beautiful, and the pink elephant in the room was that I was way out of his league. But his nervousness did not excuse his goofy, boisterous and coon-like behavior, kind of like Martin Lawrence on speed, or his constant refrain of, "You're so beautiful." Yes, muthafucka, we've established that I am beautiful. Can we please move on? Strike three. You're out!

Needless to say I had my stank face on all night, and even had Jack place the fake emergency phone call to get me out of there...something about N. throwing herself down the stairs...but the kicker is that Shortie Lazy Eye actually thought it went well. And wants to see me again.

How do I put this gently?

HELL TO THE MUTHA-FUCKING NAW!!!

*smooches...with so much beauty it's a curse*

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there's a spider spinning cobwebs
from your elbow to the table

while my eyes ride the crowd

in a secret rodeo

i smile with my mouth

lift my watch up to the light

say oh, look, i have to go

Just Bought a New Soapbox...You Like?

I don't know how it is for the other side, but calling a Dominican "Haitian" might get you stabbed with a broken Presidente bottle. This has been a fact for as long as I can remember.

As a little kid being Haitian or having Haitian attributes was the equivalent of being called every derogatory and hateful word in any and every language. Haitians were "bad." They practiced weird, devil-worship and ate little kids while they slept. At least that's what I heard.

So of course, when I got to that age where you find the one thing that will upset someone and use it against them, and met a boy who's parents were from Haiti, I had a field day! I'm not proud of it, but I got all the kids in our grade to start calling him a Haitian Booty-Scratcher. Now folks- I have NO IDEA what that means, but it used to make him SOOOOOO MAD that we just kept doing it. Again, I'm not proud of it- I was 12. And a bully. Deal with it.

But as a teen, I got a job at a used furniture store owned by a Haitian family in Elizabeth, NJ. By then I'd graduated from one of the most diverse high schools in the city and no longer felt the need to use terms like Haitian Booty Scratcher, and saw nothing wrong with working for this family- I needed money to pay for college, they needed a tri-lingual store manager.

Well my folks FLIPPED THEIR LIDS about this. Everyday after work Papi would question me about my boss, if he asked me to "do anything weird" or if they offered me anything to eat or drink. It was so bizarre! Especially because my boss was nothing but nice to me- no sexual tension, no improprieties, just an employer-employee relationship all the way.

Fast forward to last year, when I read The Farming of Bones, which told the Haitian side of the story of the conflict between the two neighbors that share Hispaniola in the Caribbean. That book was so powerful that I went and read Why the Cocks Fight, a NON-FICTION book about the strife between the two nations.

And it is just so hard to believe that so much hatred can live on such a tiny island.

So recently, I'm reading the news wire from DR and I see these two items:

8. AI calls discrimination "deeply rooted"

Amnesty International (AI) classifies the treatment of Haitians living in the DR as "deep-rooted racial discrimination" and adds that the country is responsible for many human rights violations.

The international human rights organization's "Life in transit," report was presented as part of the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination and reveals practices like deportations of Haitians without any judicial supervision and the denial of birth certificates to millions of children born in the country to Haitians "with irregular situations" as part of the problems that Haitians face in the DR.

AI representatives Gerardo Ducas and James Burkey criticized the Dominican authorities' denial that discrimination against Haitians existed, and said that the government hasn't taken the proper steps to rectify the problem. AI says that they asked to meet with the Dominican authorities to present them their report but weren't able to.

The pair did meet with Haitian Prime Minister Jacques Edouard Alexis who took notes on the report but refrained from commenting.

9. France's responsibility in Haiti

Hoy newspaper's editorial today criticizes the alliance of Amnesty International and the Mayor of Paris, Bertrand Delance, as an irresponsible way of passing on the Haitian problem.

"France, if perhaps Delance has forgotten, enslaved Haiti in the most cruel manner. For a change, the Dominican Republic has been since then where Haitians come to reduce the penuries that the French left in that country. They come to work in farming, construction and street sales and send their savings home," writes the editorialist.

The editorial also points out that the accusation comes shortly after President of Haiti Rene Preval denied the Dominican government was violating the rights of Haitians.

"The French community knows that France has much responsibility for the calamity in Haiti, but refuses to accept that past and looks the other way, as do other economic powers.

"And Amnisty International is not concerned with the situation of Haitian jails nor whether human rights are respected in Haiti, and is even less capable of requesting that France honor its historic responsibility in the luck of Haiti," reads the editorial.

First, I'd like Amnesty International to check their history books and realize that the discrimination goes both ways- DR has ruled over Haiti and Haiti has ruled over DR, and each time power changed hands and borders were moved brutality came with it. FROM BOTH SIDES.

I'm not denying that Dominicans discriminate against Haitians, because I've seen it first hand, but we are not the bully that AI is making us out to be. We just happened to get the better half of the island. Not our fault. If Haiti has issue with that, tell them to take it up with the Spaniards who landed there and claimed it as their own.

Second, hell yeah France needs to see their part in all this, but the editorial was a little over dramatic. Just like I laugh whenever I hear a black person talk about reparations (negro- you ain't NEVA gonna see that money, 40 acres OR a mule, so get over it!!) I laughed at the thought of France actually giving two shits about an old colony full of African descendants who have bastardized their language and the Christian religion. HA! Not in my lifetime, that's for sure.

And finally, I want to say to AI, Haiti, DR and all of the other whiny-ass, blow-hards who have nothing better to do but point fingers and conduct studies and write reports and blow things out of proportion in the media:

SHUT UP!!! Life ain't fair! In this version of reality, the darker your skin, the lower on the totem pole, buddy. Those are the breaks. I didn't create it, I just admit it.

The racial discrimination that exists in the Dominican Republic didn't start with the colonial authority that took over Hispaniola and told the natives and transported Africans that they were sub-par humans. From what I hear it started way before that in other places. It ain't going nowhere, so just accept it.

What AI and other nosy-bodies need to realize is that DR is a proud nation (pride goeth before the fall, I know...) and OF COURSE they are going to deny any wrong doing. But it's like teaching your kids that eating meat is wrong and then eating a cheeseburger in their faces- the US and other powerful nations that "run" AI are chock full of discrimination and are telling the "brown" countries that they are bad for doing it, too...where's the study on that??

Yeah, that's what I thought...

PS- Please keep in mind I'm not clear on all the facts- I was too busy watching TV to do my Social Studies homework- but that's my gist on it. Feel free to find the ACTUAL facts and clue me in.

*smooches...just this side of being Haitian*
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gunnin for high score in the land of dreams
morbid bluish-white consumers ogling luminous screens
on the trail of forgetting
cruising without a care
the jet set won't abide by that pesky jet lag
and our lives boil down to an hour or two
when someone pulls a camera out of a bag

and i am trying to evolve
i'm just trying to evolve