Monday, March 06, 2017

Journey To Di Road: Day 6 | This Is Why I Stopped Blogging

I did not love myself this weekend. I was not good to my body. I broke all the promises I made to myself. I continue feeding this cycle of unhealthy behaviors and somehow think "tomorrow will be different" without any real action on my part.

This isn't just about my health, this applies to my career, finances, relationships--you name it. One day, I was reading over my blog and realized, I hadn't grown as a person at all. I hadn't learned from my mistakes and I hadn't taken any real steps to change my situation. I was still coasting through life, and all I had to show for it was nearly 2,000 blog posts of First World Whining. So I quit. And now I'm sitting here wondering why I ever started back again--just to remind myself how dumb I am?

I mean, I could sit here and explain how the heat is sparse in my apartment and that makes me not want to do anything, but the not doing anything is why I'm still stuck in this drafty apartment 11 years later. But that's just another excuse. I did attempt to make better choices: I made oatmeal for breakfast on Saturday, and at the movies on Sunday (we saw HIDDEN FIGURES and it was wonderful). I didn't have my usual popcorn and slushie. However, that's only because we went to Bareburger first and made pigs of ourselves.

Saturday Breakfast | Sunday Lunch

Then there was a whole spaghetti and rice and garlic bread and ice cream and pound cake situation that I really don't want to get into.

I did go food shopping, though, and I made a beef stew for dinner tonight (which I ate too late but still, it wasn't the pizza and wings I really truly wanted). Slow cookers are a godsend.

This is Day 6.

Breakfast: eight ounces of lobster butternut squash bisque from The Soup Bowl in Park Slope. I really wanted a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll, but I opted for soup. I don't know which one was worse for me.
Snack: one of those Plantar's salted peanuts packets from the snack drawer.
Lunch: beef and broccoli + seltzer water
Victories: I didn't get that bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll, NOR did I get the pizza and wings I craved for dinner.
WOMP Moments: didn't go to the gym; didn't get enough sleep; didn't drink enough water; ate TWO bags of chips from the snack drawer at work. And I'm about to have some ice cream. I WON'T BE STOPPED.

Right now, besides the ice cream, I'm going to take my vitamins/supplements. Then I'm going to pack my lunch for tomorrow, right after I make an "egg pie" for tomorrow's breakfast. Then I'm going to shower, then I'm going to read, while the cast of MOANA accompanies me. Good night.