ME: (responding to a particularly naughty text message) There you go again! You need Jesus...
HIM: Me? Lol. I didn't see your face on the picture of The Last Supper either...
ME: I was in the kitchen getting more bread... who you think cooked that shit? I didn't see J-Money up in there slaving over a hot stove!
HIM: No comment. Lol. That is blasphemy. *enters into priest booth* Father I ask that you forgive her for the J-Money reference.
ME: Lol! You know that shit was funny.
HIM: *traces outline of a cross in front of my face and chest*
ME: God can't help you now, I've got plans for your soul...
***********
Mari has N for the week down in DC, and she let me know that my baby is obsessed with the Olympics. But apparently N is annoyed that the U.S. men keep winning gold medals and not the women.
So then I get this email from Mari that quoted my little schmuckin-face as saying:
"I wish I could swim so I could go to the Olympics"
followed by the Jaded-esque comment
"But what if I got to the Olympics and finished last like that guy...Oh boy, Katie Hoff is swimming, I bet we are gonna get SECOND place"
Why am I BEYOND proud right now?
*smooches... with just the tiniest dash of MUAHAHAHAHA*
-----------
sometimes I sit back and take in some of the shit I say and approve of and wonder what number SPF I should take with me to the afterlife...
and yes, Mari, I jacked your WHOLE email for my blog. and what? lol
Re: last supper - my alcoholic aunt says that Judas' response to J-Money's "before the cock crows you will deny me three times" comment to Peter was, "I don't know why the hell he drinks ..."
ReplyDeleteRe: the HIM crossing himself. Yuh - plant your ass in 1C and enjoy the flight.
lmao@ J-Money. That's how I referring to the big guy from now on.
ReplyDeleteI'm secretly addicted to female gymnastics in particular the uneven bars. ssshhhh... don't tell anyone
lmao @ j money
ReplyDeleteaka
jc
aka
j love
aka
j boogie
@jack- I *heart* your aunt!
ReplyDeleteand BTW, the whole first and second row on that fight is booked. HIM gonna have to get HIS own travel agent... LOL!
@super dave- I'm not even gonna say nuthin'...
@12kyle- see! you always taking it too far
*steps away from 12kyle to avoid the lightening*
Oh no you didn't! Straight thievery! UGHH!
ReplyDelete@mari- MHMM... and what?!?!
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness that was funny.....U was gettin some bread lol
ReplyDelete@dessex- and I told them fools I was coming RIGHT BACK but noooooo... they went ahead and took the picture without me... rat bastards...
ReplyDeleteI'ma save you some seat in hell's VIP room
ReplyDeletej-money? i wonder if he got betta flow than jay-z. he CAN change water to wine...
ReplyDeletekinky texts are the best...hehehehe
ReplyDeletemad at the title of the post though... I'm glad I havent taken the time to count the reason why I may be going because I am keeping hope alive
I'm mad you were in the kitchen getting bread AHAHA.
ReplyDeleteI'm riding first class to the underworld. There's just no way I can go economy hahah.
i don't think he'd mind being referred to as J-money
ReplyDeleteu gotta stay with it and relevant
even if u are the Almighty
-1-
now where exactly were u bakin this bread at cuz i was in that kitchen slavin over that matza and aint seen ur ass
ReplyDeletehaha
u gon have problems with that child when she gets older
dont get mad
she got it from u